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First visit with therapist on Friday re narcissistic parents

(5 Posts)
Lostlou Wed 25-Oct-17 12:54:02

I've posted on here very recently about my parents. Thanks to some lovely people on here offering support I have a first 'getting to know you' appointment with a local therapist (30 mins - free). Apparently she does this with all new clients to make sure both of us are happy working together.

I'm trying to write down stuff I want to ask / say, to decide if I want to take things forward with her.

If anyone who is maybe a bit further down the line in a similar situation is able to offer some advice I'd be very grateful.

Thanks you smile

DJBaggySmalls Wed 25-Oct-17 13:08:32

Good job I wrote a list because I walked in and burst into tears which was completely unexpected smile
I gave a rough outline of my problem and how I wasn't coping.
I asked what experience she had helping people with this specific problem, I did not want to be her first client.
I also asked about her credentials and what they meant. She explained all that plus the fact she had a supervisor to double check her work. She said if she didnt feel she was the right person to help me, she could refer me to someone else.
I went with her because on top of her professionalism she just felt 'right'.
Good luck!

FredericaFreiheit Wed 25-Oct-17 14:03:29

I agree with DJ - I would say expect to burst into tears - and don't worry about it, they are used to it. I sobbed through my first counselling session and felt so embarrassed about it - but actually it showed that my therapist was able to gain my trust from the very beginning. There's no point going if you are not going to tackle the difficult shit.

Go with your gut feel with the counsellor - do you like him/her. Some people say that's not important, but it always has been to me. If you don't think it will work try someone else. It's a very personal thing and there is only what is 'right' for you.

Expect to feel weird after the session. Oddly tired/hungry - sometimes relaxed and light, other times angry.

Good luck.

Lostlou Wed 25-Oct-17 15:33:44

Thank you both! I am bracing myself...

I have looked a little into qualifications and what they mean. I picked the lady from a local counselling services directory just because I liked the look of her on her bio photo - well I had to start somewhere I suppose and 'gut feeling' is very important for me.

I think actually I will print off some / all of the stuff I have posted on here as a prompt.

I will definitely ask what experience she has of dealing with adult children of narcissists.

Oh and I'll take some tissues too, though I'm guessing she'll have some in the room grin.

FredericaFreiheit Wed 25-Oct-17 16:28:32

Oh she'll definitely have them in the room smile but take some for afterwards - and consider buying yourself cake. I always found that helped.

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