Idiots Guide to Tinder please

[MargoLovebutter]

I haven't dated for a VERY long time. After getting divorced 14 years ago, I did online date for a couple of years & tried most of the sites. Particularly liked Udate (which no longer exists) for reasons I can't really identify.

Had some relationships and then the DC got too old for me to have a string of casual relationships without them being aware and I wasn't sure of my own direction of travel, so I stopped altogether and assumed a nun like status.

I'm bored of being a nun & in a few years both DCs will be at uni, so it is time to get dating again.

A friend of mine said Tinder was good, as it is fairly brutal and you are less likely to spend ages online chatting etc without actually ever going on a date. Any thoughts? If you do use it, how exactly does it work?

[hellsbellsmelons]

It's really easy.
Set yourself up with pics and a profile of you.
Nothing lengthy.
Then set distance, age range, etc...
Then you get all the guys in the age bracket region come up.
You swipe left if you don't like them.
If you do then you can tap the red down arrow to see what they have to say about themselves (I immediately swipe left they they can't be arsed to string a couple of sentences together).
If you like then you swipe right.
If you really really like you can swipe up to 'superlike' them.
You can only then talk to each other if you are a match.
So you have to like each other which is the good bit about Tinder.
Have a chat via the message section and then arrange to meet up early on.
No point having a screen affair for ages, only to meet up and not like each other.
You can be pretty brutal.
If you don't like what someone is saying then you can 'unmatch' and they can't find you anymore.
You've nothing to lose really.
I'm seeing someone I met on Tinder now.
I had a good few dates with others as well.
But my age range is older and so most of us are looking for something different to younger people on it.
Don't take it too seriously. Enjoy it and don't expect too much.

[MargoLovebutter]

Thanks hellsbells. Is it easy to spot the married ones who haven't declared on Tinder? Back in the day sites were riddled with them but maybe they more open about it these days?

[hellsbellsmelons]

Some are open about it.
They literally say they are married and just looking for hook ups.
I've only come across about 3 with that kind of profile.
Due to my age range, most are pretty honest about what they want.
Most are separated or divorced and some have always been single (bit of a red flag for me that one)
Once you go out and know their full name you can do some searching to make sure they are as they say.

[ChaChaChaCh4nges]

May I ask roughly what age range you’re in, hellsbells?

[MargoLovebutter]

Yes, I'd be interested to know your age range too, if you don't mind. I'm closer to 50 than 40, so hoping that the level of twattery will have diminished from what it was like in my mid 30s.

[ChaChaChaCh4nges]

I’m early 40s and never tried OLD...

[hellsbellsmelons]

I'm late 40's so my range is 46-55
I don't want anyone too young or too old.
Found myself a 46 YO so that's OK
I also didn't want younger due to baggage.
I'm done with younger kids.

[MargoLovebutter]

Ok, so similar age to me. Do you specify you don't want men with young DC, or do you just swipe left if they have them?

I've taken the plunge and downloaded the app. Will upload photos tonight!!!!

[userxx]

No, you cant specify things like kids or eye colour, its really quite basic. Good luck!

[MargoLovebutter]

Thank you!

[ChaChaChaCh4nges]

And are the people on Tinder really real? I’ve heard stories of bots giving automated answers to sucker people in.

[teaortequila23]

From what I’ve heard of tinder it’s more for hookups rather then real relationships now but I could be wrong

[userxx]

Tinder is the same as all the other dating sites, some will be looking for hook-ups, others for a relationship.

[hellsbellsmelons]

You can specify what ever you want in your profile.
I didn't state that but I do swipe left if they have pictures with younger kids.
I've not met a 'fake' profile yet.
Make sure you state you don't want hook-ups or ONS, if that's not what you want.

[MargoLovebutter]

I need a headbanging emoji, as I cannot sign up to the bloody thing. Keeps telling me I don't have internet connection. It is doing my head in.

[teaandcakeat8]

My Tinder only works on wifi and not 4G. Think it's something to do with your network provider.

I wouldn't say it's just for hook ups though. Plenty of friends have met their partners on Tinder. I find it less pressure than other paid for sites.

[ChaChaChaCh4nges]

I just registered; mine won’t work on WiFi (I think it’s the parental controls) but does work on mobile after I turned on mobile data for the Tinder app.

[MargoLovebutter]

Mine won't work on the wifi either & I've run out of data, so it will have to wait for a few days until my contract tops up again.
I don't understand why it won't work on the wifi, that makes no sense to me. I've tried googling and it is clear that other people have a similar problem but the tech talk responses about how to change the ISP are so geeky that I don't understand them & am worried I might mess with my router or my phone settings in a way I can't undo!!!!!

[MargoLovebutter]

At last, I'm live!

[ZestyMaximus]

Good luck Margo :)

[MargoLovebutter]

Thanks Zesty. Hope there are some nice men out there.

[MargoLovebutter]

Right, so I've been on there a week. I've matched with 5 people so far & one of them got in touch to say he was married, which is a no-go for me. So that leaves 4, of whom one has got in touch & we are doing a rather stilted exchange of information.

I'm in fairly good condition for my age and have 3 nice non-selfie photos. I live on the outskirts of London & have put a 50k radius, so you'd think there would be plenty of guys 46+ out there. I've done a fair bit of swipe lefting, as there is a lot of dross (no photo, photo of naked torso, no words in profile, lame quote, married, ONS, NSA, no teeth etc!).

Is this how it goes, or am I doing something wrong?

[Plentyoffishnets]

How much time are you spending swiping? Are you getting to where it runs out of new people?
May be worth leaving it a day or 2 then there'll be new people on there again as people sign up all the time and think it is getting more and more popular all the time.
Good luck!

[pamelastone]

Hi @ChaChaChaCh4nges

To a certain extent you are right. They do use bots to encourage you to use the app. That said, there are real people as well on Tinder. As far as bots are concerned, they do it in initial stages of launch to show people that there are many profiles in there. These days Tinder have become popular. So, the need for a bot is less.