You CAN do this. Write down the things you find difficult to live with in regards to you OH, then next to each comment write how it makes you feel, and then write how you will feel when without. Hope that makes sense. It will put your mind at ease when taking major decisions. Massive hug.
Do you work? Can you be financially independent from him? Keep yourself busy. Look at solicitors in your local area. Womens Aid can help locate good ones that deal with abusers. If you don't have your own bank account then get to a local branch and open one. Contact CAB and find out where you will stand when you separate. Is the house in joint names? Get a few estate agents round to value it if you own. If you don't then get looking at rentals where you have a support network (if you have one). Talk to family and friends and tell them of your decision. It will help make it real and they can help you emotionally through your separation. Get practical to keep your mind off of things. You have a while to get yourself sorted out if he's away for a month. You could move your things into storage until you find somewhere? Could you move in with family or friends until you are on your feet? Lots of things to think about so get writing a list. And write down all his faults. How he is controlling. How that makes your feel etc.... If you need professional support then speak to Womens Aid.
Join us in the NC (no contact) thread on here. We're all in different situations but there for the same reason, to stop ourselves contacting toxic guys...so we can help you keep from messaging him. Hugs xx
It gets better I promise. Best thing I ever did was leave an ex that sounds just like yours. Didn't realise how strong I was until I needed to do it. It was fucking hard and I felt shameful and I've never been as low as I was at that moment but here I am. Get out and don't look back. Good luck xx