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Clingy and confused in a relationship

(19 Posts)
QueenOfUniverse Tue 24-Oct-17 19:37:24

Hi guys smile I’m in a relationship with my boyfriend for a while now and we planning to get married by 2019 smile now the thing is he is busy alllll day and talks to me quiet rarely like a few texts in a day and half an hour talk on calls.... he says he is too busy and too exhausted by the end of the day but I personally feel lonely... is this normal? Or am I being to clingy? We are currently in a long distance relationship but we have had our chance to actually be together smileI’m just worried about our lives

carjacker1985 Tue 24-Oct-17 19:49:29

It would be a bit clingy for me, yes. I sometimes don’t speak to my DH all day because we are both busy at work- unless there’s something particular to report, why would we need to?

That said, it’s not too clingy if you’ve both got the same expectations, it’s whatever is right for you as a couple. Sounds like he’s too busy to give you the amount of contact that you think that need- how do you think you will be able to cope with that as the relationship develops? You say you ‘plan to marry by 2019’- are you engaged?

SparklingRaspberry Tue 24-Oct-17 21:31:24

I don't talk to my boyfriend that much

He's busy at work. He hasn't got time to be constantly texting you all day every day. What do you even talk about?? Why not just send a good morning text and wait until your evening calls? That way it gives you both something to look forward to and actually gives you something to chat about on the phone.

I'm not moaning. If it works for you both then great! But it isn't working for you both because you aren't happy with this level of communication as you'd like more - but I think most people would consider this a lot the way it is.

I personally would find it irritating having to text throughout the day and then call as well.

QueenOfUniverse Tue 24-Oct-17 21:34:36

@carjacker1985 no we are not engaged yet but our “wedding” is fixed ... that’s how it works here in India and yeah I agree I shud control my urge to text him all the time he says it’s irritating Cz he is at work and stuff and I’m like jus texting him all the time

QueenOfUniverse Tue 24-Oct-17 21:36:15

@SparklingRaspberry yeah... I should give him his space I guess ... he says it’s annoying that I keep pestering him with texts ... actually the problem is that I feel wayy too lonely and feel I don’t get much attention so I jus don’t bother abt what he wants and force him to make time for me... I think Il take ur advice and text him once in the morning and call at night

AfterSchoolWorry Tue 24-Oct-17 21:43:59

How do you find the time to contact him all day?

Do you work or study?

QueenOfUniverse Wed 25-Oct-17 04:11:13

@AfterSchoolWorry I am a dentist but currently doing ... nothing ... my family won’t let me do anything

Foobarjar Wed 25-Oct-17 04:16:32

Wtf you are a dentist but you don't do anything?

Are you not allowed to work? Go out? Get the hell out. You should not be controlled like this.

QueenOfUniverse Wed 25-Oct-17 04:37:04

@Foobarjar yeah sad exactly I’m in a fucked background so my bf is the only way out of this mess .... idk my life feels messed 😅

Foobarjar Wed 25-Oct-17 04:40:38

Why is he the only way out if you have an education? Where are you? I can help you.

QueenOfUniverse Wed 25-Oct-17 05:59:22

@Foobarjar I’m in India and it’s kinda been this way Cz of my family status

category12 Wed 25-Oct-17 06:46:50

I don't know what options you have in India, but if there are ways out of your family situation which are not your boyfriend, I would use them. I'm not sure it's healthy to have him as your escape.

QueenOfUniverse Wed 25-Oct-17 07:20:32

@category12 yeah I agree I just went out rt now spontaneously and joined a clinic let’s see how it works I’m hoping my situation and my stupid clingy brain does not ruin my marriage with my bf

Bufferingkisses Wed 25-Oct-17 07:24:13

Your posts read like you don't see him at all. How much time do you spend together with him at the moment?

Dusktilldawn Wed 25-Oct-17 07:30:11

I remember your other thread. You have only just met haven't you. When are you seeing him next?

Fadingmemory Wed 25-Oct-17 07:46:19

Once you marry, in which country will you live? You are clearly well educated and highly qualified but are you going to live a life mostly in the house after marriage? How come you were able to undertake 5 or so years of training only for your family to "imprison" you? Is there no way at all in which you can become more free? You must be at least in your mid 20s. Are you completely tied to your family, physically and emotionally, or are there any friends, relatives or organisations able to help? Do you have money? A passport? Is the man from a traditional background, will he support you so that you can have a career or will he expect you to be at home? I do not mean to sound hostile, just trying to get a fuller picture. Apologies if I have misread the situation. I have every sympathy if you really cannot, or feel you cannot get out. However, that is in all likelihood what is driving your clingyness.

QueenOfUniverse Wed 25-Oct-17 09:02:10

@Bufferingkisses no we are currently in a long distance we have started seeing each other once a week or so

QueenOfUniverse Wed 25-Oct-17 09:02:38

@Dusktilldawn yeah!!!smile we meeting next month

QueenOfUniverse Wed 25-Oct-17 09:03:46

@Fadingmemory well Il b in India or Dubai depends but after marriage I can work or do whatever .... my family is over protective so I guess that’s what is causing me these problems

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