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What would you call this

(49 Posts)
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 Tue 24-Oct-17 08:28:26

Just got on the train with OH. I took a seat and left a seat opposite from me for him. All the while smiling he mutters under his breath about my seat choice and how I should have left closest seat for him. I just got up and moved to a different seat. He literally picks at me for no reason. So sick of it.

Qvar Tue 24-Oct-17 08:31:48

I would call it a shit relationship I was better off out of, what do you call it?

NotTheFordType Tue 24-Oct-17 08:38:23


TheNaze73 Tue 24-Oct-17 08:38:46

He sounds like a bell end

bastardkitty Tue 24-Oct-17 08:39:29

All of the above.

UnicornSparkles1 Tue 24-Oct-17 08:40:07

I'd call that your OH behaving like a prick.

RoderickRules Tue 24-Oct-17 08:40:16

I might start sitting with my back to him...

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 Tue 24-Oct-17 08:41:32

I would agree. He has no problem picking at me or the kids but lovely to everyone else. We were in a playground the other say and a man was kicking a dog. I told the man to stop. He went over to the other part of the playground and continued doing this.

I went back over and called the man out on it. Told him he was a disgrace etc. This is very unlike me and I wouldn't even class myself as a particular animal lover but the poor dog. OH just stood there and said nothing. Didn't back me up. Now he's a self confessed animal lover. But always worried what people think of him. So sick of it.

bastardkitty Tue 24-Oct-17 08:44:55

My ex was like this. Absolutely horrible, passive-aggressive and shitty, except when there was an audience. Also wouldn't say boo to a goose, even to protect his own children. There is literally nothing I miss about him.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 Tue 24-Oct-17 08:50:45

He's so worried about what others think that he'd never stand up for us. Yet tries to bully/pick on me all the time. I'm so upset going into work now. I despise him and can't wait to leave.

RoderickRules Tue 24-Oct-17 08:56:28

Take s deep breath OP.
And mentally turn your back to him, and get in with your day.

Sadlady77 Tue 24-Oct-17 11:53:11

@RoderickRules - thanks. Am doing just that

lollipop7 Tue 24-Oct-17 19:44:30

Ugh he sounds like a major twat.

Couldn’t be doing with it. Mind you given last brush with relationship death I’ve been put off for life. Not even Travis Fimmel could persuade me. (Signs and thinks fat chance)

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 Tue 24-Oct-17 22:12:34

He still can't see what he did was wrong. I'm so sick of him continually picking at me

SandyY2K Tue 24-Oct-17 22:12:46

you deserve better. Start making plans to leave.

MyBrilliantDisguise Tue 24-Oct-17 22:15:51

What's your situation? Do you live together? Have children?

whatsavings Tue 24-Oct-17 22:25:56


He's only your OH - get rid before he becomes your DH & it all becomes a hell of a lot harder.

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 Wed 25-Oct-17 08:32:29

Unfortunately we are married and we have 2 kids. This morning we were coming out of our estate and a car broke down in front of. Naturally there was some confusion and as he was trying to reverse the car behind was trying to go forward. He rolled down the window and started cursing at a neighbour in front of the kids. When I called him up on it he started roaring at me saying I'm always picking on him.

We dropped the kids off and I said he wasn't a good role model cursing at the neighbour in front of the kids or even at all. He started shouting again calling me a cunt. Now we are on different parts of the train and he is texting me nonstop about what a horrible person I am.

I am so tempted to tell him to stick it but I've so many practical things I need to do before I can leave.

Clutterbugsmum Wed 25-Oct-17 08:36:10

Time to start the process of getting you and the DC away from him as soon as you can.

Hermonie2016 Wed 25-Oct-17 08:47:26

Do you have to travel to work together?

He is a bully and has to be right.When did his behaviour start?

I would recommend the Verbally Abusive relationship, it will help you understand the dynamic.Its soul destroying to live like this.

AlternativeTentacle Wed 25-Oct-17 08:53:17

he is texting me nonstop about what a horrible person I am

If you are that horrible, perhaps he should leave and go find someone better?

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 Wed 25-Oct-17 08:56:03

@Hermonie2016 - is that a book? I'll look it up and get it thanks. He's always been like this but it's like I'm only beginning to wake up to it.

I ran into an ex about 2 months. OH was with me so all above board but was in his company for the night and it was like it triggered for me what a normal relationship was like (we broke up years ago over something trivial). Ever since then I'm becoming more and more aware of how toxic his behaviour is.

Sadlady77 Wed 25-Oct-17 15:03:05

@AlternativeTentacle - I really wish he would go and find someone else and leave me and the DC's in peace

Hermonie2016 Wed 25-Oct-17 15:28:34

Yes, sorry, should have said, it's a book by Patricia Evans.

It helped me to recognise the tactics and once you see the abuse it's hard to "unsee".

Frith1975 Wed 25-Oct-17 15:32:06

Keep those horrible texts, OP. :-(

Sorry to hear you are going through this.

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