My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Concerned about aqcuaintance

10 replies

Luckystar777 · 24/10/2017 00:23

Hi all, I have an acquaintance who has been dating her partner for a year now. They are both women. There's something a bit odd about this partner of hers and I am a bit concerned to be honest. Basically, her partner will not let her come round to her house and will not stay overnight. She is fine going round to hers though - a lot, and eating all her food. She has a set of keys to the house too.

They have only spent the whole night together on 3 occasions, all of them were in hotels outwith the town they live in. there's no problem with intimacy, so she isn't avoiding that. She won't even let her drive her back to this mysterious house of hers (which she has a mortgage on) at the end of the night..she gets a taxi back to her own home.

She is very jealous and is certain that my acquaintance will cheat on her, even to the point of saying things like 'I saw you eyeing her up, why don't you just go to her' in bars..even when she wasn't even looking in the other woman's direction? She would never cheat and is very much in love with her partner in spite of some things being a bit 'off' about her.

What reasons could there be for her not letting my acquaintance come round to her house..she has only ever been once and saw nothing unusual.?? She also drove round one night when her partner said she was working and saw her in her house but did not confront her about it so as not to cause an argument. A few times she's said 'the wrong thing' and this partner of hers has flown off the handle at her.

I am concerned now as my acquaintance is depressed and isolated, she met her partner whilst studying and now has her degree and a new job but is hundreds of miles from her home town and missing an elderly relative and her old friends.

At the same time, she is in love with her partner and doesn't want to split up with her, and her family back home are kind of homophobic and she can't really be herself around them. I am about 50 miles from her and reached out and messaged her to let her know I'm here if she needs to talk, for which she seemed really grateful. She hasn't really said too much more now though and I am worried about her....she is a lovely woman and really intelligent and kind and I just hate that she is feeling torn and upset now and wish I could help.

OP posts:
Report
AfterSchoolWorry · 24/10/2017 00:30

Maybe the 'partner' is married.

Report
MexicanBob · 24/10/2017 00:49

I agree. There's a wife, husband or other partner waiting back at home.

Report
MexicanBob · 24/10/2017 00:50

Her partner also sounds emotionally abusive as well.

Report
MexicanBob · 24/10/2017 00:50

Her partner also sounds emotionally abusive as well.

Report
MexicanBob · 24/10/2017 00:50

Her partner also sounds emotionally abusive as well.

Report
MexicanBob · 24/10/2017 00:50

Her partner also sounds emotionally abusive as well.

Report
Intomyarms · 24/10/2017 00:55

My guess is the partner (who doesn't sound very nice btw but you already know that) is not publicly gay and doesn't want her neighbours knowing she is.

Report
Luckystar777 · 19/06/2018 20:30

Wow, yeah I think theres another partner or something. This woman is like 55, and acquaintance is 24. I don't understand this still, and now they are engaged, acquaintances nan died in December and the partner proposed a month later.

OP posts:
Report
JustGiveMeTwoMinutes · 19/06/2018 20:34

Did the nan leave an inheritance?

Report
Luckystar777 · 20/06/2018 22:39

Yes she did, quite a good few thousand.

OP posts:
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.