My partner and i have been together for 3 years and have 2 children.
I also have older children.
I should maybe start by saying that my ex was very abusive towards me and has failed to be any sort of a father, also my family is just crap, so my son has had nobody but me there for for him, which has probably clouded my view.
My partner is a great guy, was there for the kids and me, we had ups and downs but were generally ok.
Sadly I had to ask him to leave over an incident and a few people seem to think I'm over reacting.
My son (16) was being a bit lazy, typical teen stuff really. I was telling him to do something, he huffed and puffed, I told him off, he huffed some more. Then my partner came up to him and screamed in his face. Right in his face. He swore and shouted "dont fucking speak to your mum like that, that's out of order, you better start to show her some fucking respect, if you don't start to change your attention, then im gonna come down so fucking hard, you ain't gonna know what's hit you". I was sitting there in shock. My partner walked off to clam down, my son collapsed into tears and I knew then that my life was about to change.
I asked my partner to apologise to my son, which he eventually did with a shrug and a 'sorry' he then shouted at me asking why I was in his face when I had just walked into the room.
I spoke to my son who was crushed. He said he didn't feel comfortable around my partner after that and had lost all respect for him. I asked my partner to leave.
My son did come later and tell me to think of everyone else and that it didn't matter as it was only him which broke my heart even more.
We got things sorted and he left a couple of days later, he moved with family a significant distance away.
Now I'm stuck. I still love him. But I obviously love my son more.
I want to be with him. I can't see how after what happened.
I can't see a way forward out of this whole mess.
Did I over react?
Where can we go from here?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Son or boyfriend? Did I over react?
Anonaninanan · 23/10/2017 22:31
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