I have NC for this.
DH and I have been married for 8 years, together for 15.
We have two DC aged 2 and 5 and basically things have gone to shit between us.
I have mental health issues; severe anxiety and diagnosed OCD.
DH has never really supported me with this tbh. He works very long (14 hour days sometimes) and is pretty much always at work. I look after the DC, take care of the home and I also work PT as a Teacher.
Things have been bad between us for a while. There is little respect from either of us and we take each other for granted. I recognise that.
DH is what I would call a Jekyll and Hyde type person; one minute he is the most wonderful man and the next he is utterly vile. Cruel, abusive, vindictive and downright horrible.
This has been going on for years.
Currently, I feel like I am slowly losing it. I am barely eating, sleeping, I lose my temper frequently ( pushed to breaking point by DH) - I retaliate and then I get told by him I am 'mental' 'I need help' etc
It feels like he sets up all the bullets so to speak and I then fire them. He then sits back and laughs at me. Frequently telling my children " she's mental" "she's nuts " etc
I feel as though I am going slowly mad. I am a shadow of my former self. I can't remember the last time I went out with friends or did anything for myself.
I live for my DC. If it wasn't for them, I am
Not sure what I would do.
I don't take medication for my mental illness and I try to deal with it myself.
I don't know what to do. I can't live this life but I am so sad at the prospect of not being with my DH anymore.
My DH won't go for counselling or anything like that . He doesn't see that he upsets me or that he shows me zero respect and love.
In his eyes our arguments are all my doing. I am to blame with everything.
I feel so weak and pathetic. Surely I am worth more than this.
No one else knows a thing about this. To the outside world everything is fine, which it really sometimes is. Until the next time.
Please, can anyone give me any advice.
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Not sure what to do
18 replies
Fedupwithallthecrap · 23/10/2017 21:11
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