DH away for the week with work, how to entertain myself !

[36plusandtrying]

Hi all,

DH is away for for work, when he is away I find it hard to keep motivated and ultimately end up lazing about eating rubbish and watching bad telly. Any ideas how I can keep motivated and productive and have a really productive fulfilling week ! HELP

[polyhymnia]

I'd recommend meeting up with friends, trips to cinema, and also to theatre and art galleries if possible. I would also go out to restaurants and try new things to eat/ cuisines my DP doesn't like. Plus a bit of shop browsing. I realise this is all a bit urban so don't know if it's all practicable as you may not be town based.

[Cricrichan]

Gym and go out with friends or invite one over.

[36plusandtrying]

I run through the day as evening aren't light where I am. Fancied being productive in the house and maybe doing some organising.... rather than socialising but the motivation for that lacks sometimes !!

[CoyoteCafe]

Organizing - make a written list of what you want t accomplish (marking things off when completed is fun)
Take “before” photos so then you can do “after” photos. Very motivating and it gives you a target.

[36plusandtrying]

Oh photos !! That's sound brilliant .... let's see how I get on this week lol

[Acadia]

Spend some time trying to work out why you can't entertain yourself without him?

I have weekends away alone, without my DH. I take my time slowly at a museum or gallery, I go for coffee, I eat where I like, see whatever movies I like, read what I want...

If you want to tidy the house, just go for it - I mean, over the week there's no one to nag you if you're finished yet. Pile the crap in the middle of the room and tackle it from there. Drive shitloads to the tip he won't even notice.

[RedForFilth]

Spend the time figuring out who you are as a person in your own right. I know you're married but it sounds a little unhealthy to be at a loss when the other person in the marriage is away imo. Maybe try some new things?

[Straycatblue]

This ......

Spend some time trying to work out why you can't entertain yourself without him?

and this.......

Spend the time figuring out who you are as a person in your own right. I know you're married but it sounds a little unhealthy to be at a loss when the other person in the marriage is away imo. Maybe try some new things?

[Jellyheadbang]

Today 15:14 RedForFilth

Spend the time figuring out who you are as a person in your own right. I know you're married but it sounds a little unhealthy to be at a loss when the other person in the marriage is away imo. Maybe try some new things?

I hear women say this kind of stuff frequently. I can't imagine being at a loose end if my partner had to go away...

[CoyoteCafe]

Wow. Only on mumsnet could a simple question be met with shaming.

My DH travels a great deal, and we've been married since the Jurassic period. Over the years, a lot of women have asked me questions about things while their DH will be away. It's a normal question.

When 2 people live together for years, of course lives and routines are entwined. There's nothing dysfunctional about that. There's no reason to shame the OP for taking a few minutes to think through what routine would better suit her this week. It really is different to have random week days (especially in the dark!) than to plan a weekend away. Really. Very different.

Jelly, this statement: "if my partner had to go away..." shows that it has never happened, you don't really know what you would do, and you don't know if afterwards you would feel good about it or want to handle it differently the next time.

Acadia -- what is wrong with your relationship that you can only do the things you like if you go away alone? My DH likes going to movies I want to see, eating at restaurants I want to eat in, and sure as hell lets me read what I want. And I miss him while he is gone. If I didn't, I would question our marriage a bit.

[Jellyheadbang]

CoyoteCafe hahahaha! Seriously? My partner has never had to go away?!
I've been married and divorced and lived with several partners and all without exception have had to be separated from me at some point.
I only remember being pleased to have some space for a while and excited about the reunion when it happened.
I don't recall ever worrying how I'd amuse myself then and as a single woman now I am never stuck for things to do.
I do recall a manager telling me years ago that I'm 'too independent for a man' and that I'd 'probably end up a spinster'.
I laughed at her but maybe she was right.

[SendintheArdwolves]

Seriously? You're a grown adult who can't keep herself together FOR A WEEK without your husband? And we're not talking about "I find myself missing him in the evenings a bit" but "I don't feed myself properly and just slump in front of the telly. I don't enjoy it, but I literally can't think of anything better to do".

Honesty and seriously, you should spend the time thinking about why you act like this. In the nicest way, you really do need to grow up.

[RedForFilth]

CoyoteCafe shaming?! How dramatic! Then you go on to ask Acadia what is wrong with their relationship? GF springs to mind.

[Betsyboo87]

I’m with Coyote. The OP isn’t saying she can’t deal with him being away but it’s easy to fall into a rut of not doing anything productive simply because you only have yourself to look after. DH works away a lot and even when he is here he works very long hours. Many (possibly most) of my friends struggle to understand how I cope with that. They don’t have unhealthy relationships or need to “find themselves”.

Anyway OP, back to your question. I usually set myself a project for the week (I’m very into crafting and DIY). Sometimes it’s reorganisation - I find this easier to do whilst I have the house to myself. I like showing DH what I’ve done when he returns (replastering the bedroom wall was my fave!). The before and after photos is a good suggestion too. I’ll always break up with week with dinner or drinks with friends or invite them round for rubbish tv and food .

[polyhymnia]

My DH likes going to some films I want to see and likes many of the types of cuisine I like, but quite reasonably not all. So I enjoy going to those films and eating those foods either with friends or by myself if he's away or working late. All seems quite normal and personally I find it really hard to understand why anyone wouldn't find it enjoyable and the obvious things to do.

[CoyoteCafe]

"I don't feed myself properly and just slump in front of the telly."

It's because the routine is totally different, and she hasn't yet worked out what routine works for her when her DH is away. It's normal. A lot of people (both men and women) eat differently when their spouse is gone. A lot of people find their evenings don't flow the same way, or in a way that necessarily satisfies them.

I don't sleep well when my DH is gone. He travels a great deal, and I have all the other bits of it worked out for myself, but I still just don't sleep well without him. There's really nothing wrong with missing your spouse, with preferring the way life works with them there to the way life is without them.

[NotTheFordType]

Depending on your subscriptions.

Amazon - the old X Files episodes.
Lucifer series 2
The Trip swries 3

Netflix -
Narcos s3
Gotham s3

Loads of stuff on Now :D

[Believeitornot]

I don’t understand OP why you feel the need to be productive.

If DH was away that long I’d watch all the shit on tv I wanted, without judgement, wat the food I wanted, without judgement etc etc.

Productivity?! Nah!

[Sciurus83]

Honestly I would, and do, eat bad food and watch bad t.v. and I LOVE EVERY SECOND! Dance to gaga in the kitchen. Organise my wardrobe and makeup. Talk to friends. Go swimming do yoga....

[36plusandtrying]

Wow this escalated quickly ..... so none of you have never felt out of routine and lacked motivation? For context DH has travelled internationally for 6 months out of the past 10, I miss him. So I'm sorry if I'm running out of art galleries (who does that at night btw), coffees at artisan cafe's or soul searching about why I need to grow up. Maybe I'm just lonely, 1000's of miles from family and in need of a little motivation/inspiration. I work full time, commute 2/3 hours daily and run 5/7k. When I get home I don't have bags of energy to tackle a huge project but wouldn't mind being slightly more productive than I currently am.

[Rainbowqueeen]

Can you use some time to do Christmas organising?? Amazon wish list for your self, lists of anything you need to do to get ready, present lists, food lists, maybe Google some new recipes and give them a try?

Even if there are people that you send Christmas cards to, you could make a start on that.

Or plan your next holiday?

Text a good friend or family member and arrange a night to have a long uninterrupted chat

Hope you enjoy yourself!!

[36plusandtrying]

Loving your ideas rainbow ! Was looking at Pinterest - might carve a pumpkin !!

[Laceup]

Buy a rabbit...it helps pass the time

[polyhymnia]

Cinemas theatres and restaurants are all open at night though.

[36plusandtrying]

Yes I understand that, I could go to movies but there is nothing on right now that I want to watch. Theatre not going to spend $100 on something just to keep myself entertained. For me that's something that I would plan to do as a treat, not just a random Tuesday night. Restaurant - have arranged a dinner on Friday night with a GF. I guess looking for simple cost effective ways to entertain myself !