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Is your OH a gent?

(147 Posts)
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 Sat 21-Oct-17 13:23:01

I've just noticed as I've gotten older that I really appreciate and notice a man opening a door for me, or generally being gentlemanly. My OH is not a gent at all. He would nearly barge in front of me in a cafe. When we were younger I thought this was great that he thought women were so equal and could hold their own.(go to the bar the exact same amount of times etc) but now I find it ill mannered.

DS is 7 and I am bringing him up to be a gent as I don't want him to be like his Dad. Just wondering what other people thought.

MyBrilliantDisguise Sat 21-Oct-17 13:26:00

Good manners make such a difference. Barging in front of someone doesn't make you equal - it makes you inferior, in his mind. It's hard to live with someone who doesn't have basic good manners - it's something that occurs to me often when I read threads in Relationships - often the guys there have no manners and no consideration for anyone else.

Eolian Sat 21-Oct-17 13:29:00

Good manners are good manners. What sex you are has nothing whatsoever to do with it imo. I wouldn't barge in front of dh and he wouldn't barge in front of me. I'd hold open the door for anyone, male or female, so would dh.

DueNov Sat 21-Oct-17 13:30:10

My other half is a gent and quite old fashioned. Hell open the door for me. He'll walk the side closest to the road on the pavement. He currently helps me put my shoes on cause I'm 9 months pregnant and can't. He surprises me with flowers and always kisses me goodbye in the morning.

My ex was the exact opposite. I dont miss him at all

SugarMiceInTheRain Sat 21-Oct-17 13:30:17

Yes, it's one of the things that made him stand out from others. He will hold the door open for me, offer to carry bags etc. His mum trained him well grin

daimbar Sat 21-Oct-17 13:31:00

No she’s not a gent but would still hold a door open for me, as I would for her.

JamesBlonde1 Sat 21-Oct-17 13:32:59

My DH is a complete gent.

Goes ahead to open doors, immediately jumps in to carry bags, helps me put on/take off my coat and just generally makes sure me and DD are attended to and cared for. He does it for my female relatives too.

He's not a door mat either. He's not a pushover and would tell me if I was wrong about something.

My MIL has her faults but she certainly did a good job bringing up a lad with manners.

RosyPony Sat 21-Oct-17 13:33:32

I wouldn’t have married someone with bad manners, it would be embarrassing.

luckiestgirl Sat 21-Oct-17 13:35:49

JamesBlonde But why only the females?

Cakebaby123 Sat 21-Oct-17 13:37:27

Wish mine was more of a gent, but he sees that because he works and brings in the money (I'm a SAHM) that he doesn't have to be a gentleman, because he's already doing me a favour paying the bills confused therefore doesn't need to open doors for me.

BroomHandledMouser Sat 21-Oct-17 13:51:53

My DH is a gent 🙂 I think that was one of the biggest attractions for me.

He opens doors, pulls out chairs and gives me his jacket if I'm cold. He also never expects me to pay for meals and drinks, no matter how much I protest.

Love his bones 😍

Vitalogy Sat 21-Oct-17 13:55:59

Gentlemen are a dying breed sad

IAmTheDragon Sat 21-Oct-17 13:56:16

He's an absolute gent. It's not an age thing, nor is he old fashioned - he has very few ideas about what a woman should be or what our roles are in this relationship.

I've known him since he was 18 and honestly, he's just always been polite, courteous and considerate.

WitchesHatRim Sat 21-Oct-17 13:57:52

When we were younger I thought this was great that he thought women were so equal and could hold their own.(go to the bar the exact same amount of times etc) but now I find it ill mannered.

confused

Why is it I'll mannered to go to the bar the same amount of time?

BuzzKillington Sat 21-Oct-17 13:58:56

My dh is courteous, with me and everyone else.

He holds doors open for whoever is behind him.

He wouldn't dream of treating women differently just because they're female. Our sons are being brought up the same - to be polite but not patronising or old fashioned.

ofudginghell Sat 21-Oct-17 14:02:00

I think they have a bit of a life wobble at times and lose their sense of considerate and manners to be honest.
My dh was always polite and gentlemanly but lately is too preoccupied in himself it seems hmm
Little things like if I get in from work after him he always used to automatically put kettle on and make me a coffee. Hasn’t done it for ages now.
Or the other day I passed him something and awaited the thank you but it didn’t arrive so I looked at him till I got his attention and then told him he was welcome. What did he asked?the thank you that didn’t fall out of your mouth I replied.
We were coming in via the front door the other evening and he walked straight in and the wind caught the door and I almost lost my nose but he didn’t even notice.
It’s the little things like that I find make them a lot less desirable at times hmm

falange Sat 21-Oct-17 14:04:00

Mine is a gent, he always walks on the side of pavement nearest the road, holds doors open, carries bags etc. I love it. I never ever have to go to the bar either which doesn’t sound much but when you’re lazy like me, is great grin

CredulousThickos Sat 21-Oct-17 14:07:01

DH is, he does the pavement thing and doors and carries stuff etc.

He also makes me a coffee when he gets in from work, as well as brings me one in bed before he leaves.

He always thanks me for cooking before he eats as well which I find adorable.

IfNot Sat 21-Oct-17 14:08:22

All men should aspire to be gentleman. Meaning they should cultivate good manners and consideration toward all people (not just women).

"Being male is a matter of birth.
Being a man is a matter of age.
But being a gentleman is a matter of choice"
- Vin Diesel grin

BuzzKillington Sat 21-Oct-17 14:08:44

he always walks on the side of pavement nearest the road

wtf? In case mud splashes on your crinoline, giving you an attack of the vapours?

What year is it again? confused

Myheartbelongsto Sat 21-Oct-17 14:08:47

Yes he is 100%

ProseccoMamam Sat 21-Oct-17 14:09:41

DH is a gent. It’s not just opening doors though, it’s about being equally respectful to people and keeping a sort of classy poise. He will open doors, he will carry shopping, help old ladies cross the street etc, but he is also very well mannered and kind to others which is good. I have 2 sons (7yo and 1yo) and we are bringing them up the same. They will carry my bag and help fetch shopping in, my toddler loves to kiss women’s hands and my 7yo calls every stranger sir or miss. I have so many compliments about his behaviour so it’s not a bad thing. I agree we are quite old fashioned but I like the way we are so it won’t be changingsmile

Eminado Sat 21-Oct-17 14:12:44

@cakebaby123 are you ok? sad

Stopyourhavering Sat 21-Oct-17 14:12:44

Mine is a true gent and is polite/courteous to everyone--nearly always!--
Holds open doors ( and not just for women) walks of traffic side of road, offers me his jacket if we're out and I'm cold
,however he's not a pushover and also a very charming successful businessman and I'd like to think treating his clients courteously does help
It was one of the many things that attracted me to him 35 yrs ago and why we celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this year
Manners don't cost anything to anyone, hope we've managed to pass this on to our 2 dd's and ds

Crumbs1 Sat 21-Oct-17 14:12:47

Mine too is gentlemanly and kind.

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