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Am I the only one who has no interest in having a partner?

(43 Posts)
DoubleNegativePanda Fri 20-Oct-17 02:58:59

I was married for 12 years to an EA shitheap. I've dated several people since and have discovered I have zero tolerance for bullshit, but more than anything else I flat out refuse to relinquish one drop of autonomy. I have no interest at all in asking someone's opinion of proposed plans, making sure someone doesn't mind if I take off out of town for a day or two. I don't want comments on whether I've cooked dinner, done laundry or watched Star Trek all afternoon.

Date a bit, fool around if I want to, send them home. Catch and Release.

I can't be the only one who prefers to be single, can I?

AwfulSomething Fri 20-Oct-17 03:02:36

You're not. I have no interest at all. Partners bore me, same face every day....same dull stuff..no thanks! My time is my own.

Arealhumanbeing Fri 20-Oct-17 03:41:05

So you’ll have your own life with relationships/sex/dates/trips on the periphery.

Perfect!

DoubleNegativePanda Fri 20-Oct-17 04:15:13

I guess I just sometimes feel a bit...other? Because everyone I know is either married or unhappy single and trying to find a mate.

And I'm over here just not getting it. I listen to my married friends and think "oh hell no."

cherrycola2004 Fri 20-Oct-17 06:21:44

There’s nothing wrong with it. You sound really happy and that’s the most important thing

Howlongtilldinner Fri 20-Oct-17 06:24:35

Just out of interest how old are you?

OuiNonOui Fri 20-Oct-17 06:26:46

I prefer being single.

I don't think there's much out there anyway. Guys around my age (25) prefer porn and prostitutes.

category12 Fri 20-Oct-17 06:30:04

I'm kind of horrified by the idea of living with anyone again, so a casual relationship with my boyfriend suits me really well. I want the fun parts but not the sock washing etc. I've been so much happier since I got rid of my ex.

Latenightreader Fri 20-Oct-17 06:35:44

Not at all. I've been single for well over a decade (occasionally dating but nothing serious) but two years ago I admitted to myself that I really didn't want to be in a relationship and it was as if all the pressure lifted.

ohamIreally Fri 20-Oct-17 06:44:02

Love that zero tolerance for bullshit! Mind if I borrow that? Yes. Same here.

WhoWants2Know Fri 20-Oct-17 06:45:12

Same. I can't really even be bothered with dating anymore, after a few attempts that amounted to a shower of bullshit. I don't feel like I need anything more than what I have, so what would I really get out of it?

Phillipa12 Fri 20-Oct-17 06:55:50

Have been divorced a year and seperated for 2 and everyone keeps asking me about a bloke but quite frankly i cant be arsed. I love my life with just me and my boys why would i want to complicate things with a partner, i much prefer my single life, i can do what i want when i want without having to run it past anyone....perfect!

LilaWithTheBigBag Fri 20-Oct-17 07:00:31

Guys around my age (25) prefer porn and prostitutes.

Jesus that's depressing. I'd thought this younger generation to mine might be more enlightened.

OP I'm not single (yet) but am in the process of getting my ducks lined up. What you describe in your OP is how I envisage I'll be once I'm free. I have zero desire to ever marry or live with anyone ever again. I prefer dogs.

Bibbidee Fri 20-Oct-17 07:19:52

Yep! I think my quota for compromises have all been used up. My take is that if I do fall in love, I'll be nice and want to do shit for them and they'll take advantage so I'll reassert my boundaries but this will drive me mad! I can already hear the conversations in my head:

Me: 'Babe, I asked you to put the bins out?'

Them: 'oh yeah sorry babe'

Secretly I'll be thinking ffs that's all you had to do for crying out loud! 😩

carolmusic Fri 20-Oct-17 07:28:12

Think I might join this club, it sounds so much easier than all the crap and put downs I’ve experienced.

picklemepopcorn Fri 20-Oct-17 07:38:07

I've been married 25yrs, still am. Should I ever find myself single, I'll be staying that way!

Jessie1980 Fri 20-Oct-17 07:50:12

Sounds like a great idea, no disappointments then! As a friend of mine said, 'men are so over-rated'!

jeaux90 Fri 20-Oct-17 07:54:18

I'm a bit "other" too and love it. I'm 46 a single mum, financially independent.

I met someone 18 months ago. I wasn't looking as I'm happy with being single but as it turns out it's perfect. I only see him 1 or 2 times a week, do the odd trip. No intention of moving it into anything more as I don't want to live with anyone or ever get married again (why should I share my assets!)

I found a good middle ground smile

Frith1975 Fri 20-Oct-17 07:57:39

5 years completely single. I’d had 5 long term relationships (one of those a marriage) and all 5 chaos were unfaithful, 3 abusive, husband abusive enough for me to need a women’s refuge. Bored with it all!

Frith1975 Fri 20-Oct-17 07:58:24

Chaps, not chaos. Though that would have been an ideal Freudian slip.

Gilead Fri 20-Oct-17 08:07:43

Split up from EA husband just over a year ago. Not dated. Not interested in dating. Don't want to be accountable to anyone, don't want anyone in my space. I'm getting on a bit so the likelihood is I will stay like this. Perfectly happy to do so.

museumum Fri 20-Oct-17 08:10:01

I’m happily married but was single for 7 years before so also had a very low tolerance for bullshit.
Dh and I are thoughtful towards each other (eg consulting on plans) but probably too independent of each other for most people’s tastes.

Walkacrossthesand Fri 20-Oct-17 08:12:03

I've been single for a very long time, DCs all grown up now - I want what you've got, jeaux90, but I wouldn't call that being single. Single for me is holidays alone/with a friend that you rub along with ok/with a random 'singles' group; no-one to plan and share nice activities with. I'm not interested in co-habiting though - a nice semi-detached relationship would suit me just fine!

Temporaryanonymity Fri 20-Oct-17 08:14:29

I am the same. I have been in a relationship for about five years. We see each other once a week or so, have the odd holiday. It is perfect, I wouldn't want to see him any more. I am busy with work and my children, and would definitely not want to live together. Too much financial risk!

GalaVanting Fri 20-Oct-17 08:17:51

Totally agree.

No compromise left in me and absolutely do not want to live with anyone again. Not handing my sexuality over to anybody again either - and don’t want anybody else’s. I will have whatever relationship I choose when I choose - and this won’t be hidden from any partner(s) (and they can do the same).

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