Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Married work colleague relationship...

(64 Posts)
GoldenMama Thu 19-Oct-17 18:45:19

I'm not married, he is, and we work together. Please tell me what a bad idea this would be!

SchnitzelVonKrumm Thu 19-Oct-17 18:48:02

Because not fucking someone else's spouse is the very lowest rung on the ladder of common decency?

Graphista Thu 19-Oct-17 18:48:47

Because it will screw your job/career up too.

Rainbowglow Thu 19-Oct-17 18:50:02

Really bad. When it all goes pear shaped you have to see him every day at work. Office gossips. Office romances are a no go for me. Business and pleasure do not mix. And if you are single why do you need the hassle of a married man?

Laura2018 Thu 19-Oct-17 18:51:05

Do not do it. It will make you the worst type of person. And it will make you very sad.

strongasmeringue Thu 19-Oct-17 18:51:28

Don't be so fucking stupid. Or do you want the drama of 100's of posters saying don't do it so you can post about how it's true love and you can't help yourself.

Pogmella Thu 19-Oct-17 18:55:18

My STBXH left me for a colleague 2 months ago. The shock cannot be put into words. I've ideated suicide at points. It's like a kick in the chest every morning when I wake up and remember what's happened.

He's now living with OW but apparently they haven't given it a label yet. He's meeting me tomorrow for lunch and going to Relate with me to agree co-parenting. I asked what sfe makes of this contact abd he replied that although its not a secret he hadnt found the right time to tell her just yet.

A guy that would do it to his wife would do it to you.

GoldenMama Thu 19-Oct-17 18:56:52

Awesome, thanks.

GoldenMama Thu 19-Oct-17 18:57:25

I'm sorry you are hurting Pogmella flowers

BelleandBeast Thu 19-Oct-17 18:57:58

Don't you already know its a 'bad idea', or have the fanny gallops messed with your brain? confused

Pogmella Thu 19-Oct-17 18:59:38

She is too Golden. I contacted her manager and let her know. Turns out the same thing happened to her years ago. Apparently now a review of company IT usage taking place.

People get pretty pissed off when you set their lives on fire.

Rainbowglow Thu 19-Oct-17 19:00:31

Pogmella - sending hugs and flowers. You will get over this. And better off without him. Stay strong.

Wanderwall Thu 19-Oct-17 19:01:24

Don’t do it. You’re fucking with people’s lives in the worst way.

Starwhisperer Thu 19-Oct-17 19:02:05


I know everyone always spouts the "he's the one who's married" etc etc but seriously, what kind of woman knowingly sleeps with another woman's husband?

NorksandSpencer Thu 19-Oct-17 19:03:23

Really bad idea. Been in your shoes except I was married too. It’s obviously all kinds of wrong morally but I get that it’s totally intoxicating to start with and hard to resist. But when it goes wrong or you hit a blip trying to carry on working together is horrendous especially if you’re more attached than he is. If you’re single go and find someone much less complicated and who isn’t a cheater. The feeling that if they’ve done it with you they’ll do it to you never goes away.

Pogmella Thu 19-Oct-17 19:03:31

Thanks Rainbow. I just need them to split. I think him being with someone else would be easier. But knowing she knew he was married and invited him back anyway... I just don't want her anywhere near my kid.

My sole aim is to build as many secrets between them as possible.

Oleanderrules Thu 19-Oct-17 19:04:09

Steer clear - this man is a disaster zone and it could be you he’s cheating on in future

SchnitzelVonKrumm Thu 19-Oct-17 19:08:17

Pogmella you BAMF grin

Lilmisskittykat Thu 19-Oct-17 19:09:58

Despite how it might feel now - it nearly always goes wrong you’ll end up hurt at the least at the most everyone get hurt and you end up with a scorned woman like pogmella hell bent on ruining your life.

I think you know all this though - skip temptation it will only mess you up

Aquamarine1029 Thu 19-Oct-17 19:14:03

Why would you invite a guaranteed dumpster fire into your life? Don't you have enough things to worry about?

AllTheWhoresOfMalta Thu 19-Oct-17 19:16:35

No good can come of this. Lived it, learnt it. My excuse is that I was a teenager and he was my teacher but I was still A FUCKING IDIOT. Married people who are prepared to cheat and lie to their spouses are BAD PEOPLE. A THOUSAND TIMES DO NOT GO NEAR THIS.


Also, Pogmella I am so sorry. Your husband sounds like a cunt but at least you're now rid of him. Bastard. You will recover from this even if it doesn't feel like it now.

Pebbles1989 Thu 19-Oct-17 19:16:37

He's a horrible person and you will end up very hurt, one way or another. If he's a decent person, he will end his marriage before starting a new relationship.

exhaustedmumof4 Thu 19-Oct-17 19:16:53

Everyone will hate you. He will be forgiven. The other woman always gets blamed. It’s not fair, it takes 2 assholes to tango but rest assured you will get the blame.

Rainbowglow Thu 19-Oct-17 19:20:14

Oh Pogmella focus on yourself not your spineless ex. Dont waste any of your energy. Keep a journal and write all your thoughts in there. Every wicked thought. They may split but that is not your problem. Remember getting rid of your ex means you have choices. You will be happy again but it is just too raw now.

Rainbowglow Thu 19-Oct-17 19:22:25

Goldenmama - if it is meant to be with your office married man then wait till he leavea his wife and is divorced and working elsewhere. Dont ruin your reputation or your job.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: