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Needy, clingy - what does that actually mean?

(8 Posts)
Biddylee Thu 19-Oct-17 17:58:50

These words get thrown around a lot and I often worry that I can be needy but I'm not quite sure where the line between genuine questions about confirming a relationship status and being needy is.

Thoughts , opinions....

Rainbowglow Thu 19-Oct-17 18:11:28

I am no expert but I would say someone is needy if they require constant reassurance, constant attention, and get very anxious.

Everyone can be needy at times though. What is worrying you?

Annoyed5678 Thu 19-Oct-17 18:20:50

These are big red flags at the start of a relationship to me

Schmoopy Thu 19-Oct-17 18:24:06

What is your situation?

CurlyhairedAssassin Thu 19-Oct-17 18:28:46

Someone who rings you at work all the time is needy and clingy. Might be fun when you’re first going out and in the early “can’t get enough of each other” stages. But after that....just no. You’ve got a job to do. No need to chat with your other half.

Someone who gets offended that their boy/girlfriend doesn’t text them constantly. If they have a life they won’t need to. It doesn’t mean anything.

“Xth” anniversary people: “awww, this is our two week/month anniversary”. What a load of cobblers. It’s an anniversary when it gets to a year and not before. Annum = year.

Schmoopy Thu 19-Oct-17 18:29:19

I think that sometimes neediness is caused by insecurity in a relationship that isn't meeting your needs. And sometimes it's caused by insecurity within yourself.

Clinginess is awful. I need a lot of space. Clinginess is the fastest way to getting dumped.

CurlyhairedAssassin Thu 19-Oct-17 18:30:29

I know someone who has planned their wedding out for years, in great detail. Subscribes to wedding forums etc. She wasn’t even engaged when I found this out. I felt sorry for her boyfriend, that must be stifling.

Biddylee Thu 19-Oct-17 21:59:46

rainbow I suppose I read so many articles about women being needy and how it destroys relationships that I get concerned that I am being needy. (I'm too busy to be clingy, I try not to get into the habit of expecting someone to do things my way or even reading into things too much although that can't always be helped.)
Actually I'm trying to write about what is worrying me and realising how much my thoughts and behaviour are coming out of previous treatment in relationships. I think I need to pay attention to what the person I'm seeing is actually saying rather than the handful of negative experiences I have had with others.

Schmoopy I think some of the insecurity is a mixture of both for me. New relationship - a few issues - and my own insecurities are making me anxious. (btw I don't have time for clinginess :D )

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