Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Am i right to think that there is something odd ?

(97 Posts)
idontknow38 Thu 19-Oct-17 17:48:54

Hello. I am confused as to what to believe and i would like some perspectives please. DP is on his thirties. I am confused as what to believe about his job situation
For months now he keeps talking about how much he hates being there because "they dont appreciate him" . The manager "doesnt like him because he is afraid for his job" and "tries to blame him for everything". He kept talking about quitting because "they try to get him fired by blaming him for mistakes". This suddenly changed last week to being asked to become a manager hmm .This changed few days ago to him wanting to quit because "they dont treat him properly". Now it changed to "the manager asked him to take his place because he will be promoted and need someone to take over". I do not understand how within a week you go from one to other
I am skeptical because i have lately realised that DP for the past 15 years hasnt held a job for more than a year. He is always "the best" but the employers are jealous, afraid, racists etc
Am i paranoid

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow Thu 19-Oct-17 17:53:40

He's got a massively inflated sense of his own importance. By the sounds of things this job isn't going to be around much longer either.(worked with this type-this place would fall apart without me, I know more than my boss.)

SweetChickadee Thu 19-Oct-17 17:56:38

He's a Billy Bullshitter.

Every manone I've known of like this loses jobs constantly and it's never their fault

run like the wind OP

MyBrilliantDisguise Thu 19-Oct-17 17:59:33

I've known men like this and as they get older and their managers get younger, it becomes even worse. You realise he won't ever hold a job down and one day he won't get another, don't you? And just as he's blaming his bosses now, one day he will blame you.

If you can, get out now.

idontknow38 Thu 19-Oct-17 18:39:33

Thank you all. Am i suppose to believe it about him becoming a manager? So far it was a completely different story. If his manager "hates him and is afraid that he will lose his job because DP is better" why would he ever asked him to take his place / I congratulated him of course and i hope is true and i hope that its all great for him. But something bothers me . All those contradicting stories.... And i feel a bad partner for thinking this way

Cambionome Thu 19-Oct-17 18:43:52

You are not a bad partner.
He is totally unreliable and a complete idiot.

zippey Thu 19-Oct-17 18:50:31

Sounds like he is making up stories to make himself look better than he is. The being a manager story is one side, but even the people dislike him because he's so good stories.

Sounds like he has a problem with confidence and likes to make up stories to save his ego from a fall.

idontknow38 Tue 24-Oct-17 16:30:10

An update. So DP said that he was offered the managers position because the manager got promoted. However he seemed so uninterested , i kept asking him if he would accept the job and what he decided but he was trying to change the subject. He was saying that he is still thinking about it and he can not talk untill he writes down positives and negatives etc . Definitely not the behavior of someone who just got offered promotion and specifically him who always keeps saying how great he is and how everyone is looking up to him etc And now apparently the manager didnt got his promotion therefore DP can not have that job confused. Unlucky or just verify my suspicions on first post

SweetChickadee Tue 24-Oct-17 16:33:17

Christ, he's full of shit.

This will always be the case OP. If you can live like this, that's fine. I personally need a man who's living in the real world.

FetchezLaVache Tue 24-Oct-17 16:44:08

I think @Chickadee has it with "Christ, he's full of shit".

Sounds like the scales are starting to fall from your eyes wrt this man's character. Definitely not one whose gene pool you should exploit, if that's potentially on the cards for you one day.

whatsavings Tue 24-Oct-17 20:20:21

You might want to consider what else he's lying to you about, because this is a complete crock of shit.

What else does he do that upsets you or makes you uneasy?

Iamok0303 Wed 25-Oct-17 07:59:41

All this is only to prepare you for when he comes home one day to tell you someone else got picked so he is leaving the company.

AnonEvent Wed 25-Oct-17 08:05:39

* *All this is only to prepare you for when he comes home one day to tell you someone else got picked so he is leaving the company.

Ooo I’m not sure I’d credit him with this much long term strategic thinking. Mind you your idea does make me wonder if he’s already been let-go.

Myheartbelongsto Wed 25-Oct-17 09:56:34

Billy bullshitter grin

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 25-Oct-17 10:05:04

I expect that over several days the following happened. Manager went for a promotion, this would have opened a vacancy. Billy the Brilliant Bullshitter decided he would definitely get the manager's job when it came free. He asked about it and was told he had no chance because he's a fuckwit. He then started acting the arse even more at work and will no doubt be sacked soon.

idontknow38 Thu 26-Oct-17 00:46:25

Thank you for all the replies. This got weirder today and its driving me crazy. My minds tells me , and you all agree here, that all that is bs, because he keeps changing the story and his feelings from one to other so often. But then i feel guilty for not believing him because how is it possible to lie for things like that? Today he came back from work with more "news". I got confused but as far as i understood the manager was plotting to fire all but three "because he was afraid for his position". "The story about been promoted was all lies of the manager, to see who wanted to take his place and now he wants to fire them all". It felt like a bad soap opera scenario . I was just listening to him telling me how evil this manager is and this and that and DP will quit because the manager wants to fire him because feels threatened. ( i hear that all the time) By tonight the story became that the manager is now under investigation and on forced leave and DP took his position . I really want to believe him but i have this feeling that there is something seriously wrong here.

PhilODox Thu 26-Oct-17 00:49:27

Sorry, but my gut feeling is he's been fired already.

RunningOutOfCharge Thu 26-Oct-17 00:51:07

Is this office based op?

It sounds very worrying

idontknow38 Thu 26-Oct-17 01:11:11

If he is making all this up its scary. For the past hour or so he is describing people and situations and what he is going to do etc etc. It all seem a bunch of bs but if he is capable to lie like this it scares me.
@RunningOutOfCharge its office based yes

Finola1step Thu 26-Oct-17 01:21:20

Any chance you can pop by his work. Say tomorrow.

Insomnibrat Thu 26-Oct-17 01:39:38

I agree with pp, total billy bullshitter.

Could it be that he's insecure that your job is infact better than his, so he has to create all these stories to validate himself? He sounds a nightmare to work with, assuming he actually does go out to a job during the day.

Graphista Thu 26-Oct-17 01:40:20

See them hills >>>>>

Run for them!

My sister is like this. We are Nc in part because I became thoroughly sick of being constantly lied to.

This includes the following pattern with EVERY job she's had

Thrilled to get job 'it's perfect for me they loved me at the interview'

First couple months 'they love me, they said I'll easily get promoted because I'm soooooo brilliant, they've never seen anyone as good as me before'

Then 'hmm I'm not sure I'm enjoying it as much now, I'm soo good it's boring, I've finished everything 2 hours before finish time. I'm gonna start looking for something else that's more 'me' '

Then 'X is such a cow (usually line manager) they're jealous of how fucking fantastic I am and worried I'll take their job'

'I hate it there they're all jealous cows I can't be doing with it'

Then she is sacked AGAIN but claims she left.

Also never had a job for more than a year but somehow finds new work fairly quickly, she's done the same with several college courses too.

She's now in her 40's and finding it harder to find work, which I agree it's v hard at the moment, but she can't understand it because she's SO AMAZING 🙄

She's also never had a relationship last more than a few years.

RunningOutOfCharge Thu 26-Oct-17 01:40:22

When is payday?

Do you usually see payslips?

MyDearAnnie Thu 26-Oct-17 05:08:16

know I think he's setting you up for him 'walking out' again with a series of untenable work situations because, let's face it, it would be untenable working with this level of uncertainty, stress and incompetence if it were real

I also suspect he's been sacked or is very close to being so.

He's not a very lucky man is he, if he only ever gets employed by paranoid, incompetent racists?

I was with someone like this in my early 20s. He was, seemingly, only ever employed by predatory gay men who made inappropriate advances/made him feel uncomfortable and was required to leave pretty much every job as a result... It was bollocks of course.

Oh and he won't see it as 'lying to you'. This isn't personal or down to how he feels about you, it's no reflection on you. It's about him and his inadequacies.

But that's not your problem.

picklemepopcorn Thu 26-Oct-17 05:44:59

How long have you been together? It may be worth checking your finances are protected.
Does he get angry?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now