Advertisement

loader

Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Preparing the leave - the practicalities

(3 Posts)
Sadlady77 Thu 19-Oct-17 10:31:05

Hi all,

I've posted a few times about my relationship. There is no going back now. I am really confused about what I should/shouldn't do when I am planning to leave.These are just thoughts in my head and not sure whether these are things I should be doing

*Pay off my credit card
*Stash some money (not sure if I should give it to my mother, my OH has a very well paid job with loads of bonuses due in the next year so he will be far better off financially than me)
* Sort out some medical issues (OH has a very generous health and dental package - I presume they won't be available to me when we separate)
* Get counselling for myself (so I have the energy and strength to leave)
* Learn how to drive and get a full licence (am doing that since Sept)
* Get a full time job. I am worried about the impact this will have on the kids if I get a full-time job and we separate. But I don't really have much of a choice do I?
* Get some bits and pieces fixed around the house (OH will either refuse to leave or we'll have to sell the house so I guess I want to try and do it up so we can get as much equity as possible).

Any ideas or suggestions gratefully received.

hellsbellsmelons Thu 19-Oct-17 13:01:51

That looks like a good list and you've already started on some of it.
Don't forget about your documents.
Try to get bank statements showing what he earns.
Anything you can find on his pension or other assets.
Get your passports, birth certificates, marriage certificate etc... together and in a safe place.
Also have a chat with CAB and find out what benefits you would be entitled to if you left without a job.
Get family back-up and support around you to keep you strong on the right path.
Is there abuse involved in this relationship? If so then contact Womens Aid and get some local support and attend their Freedom Programme.

Sadlady77 Fri 20-Oct-17 12:21:58

@Hellsbellsmelons - thanks for that advice. Have told my mother and sister and they are being very supportive. There is emotional abuse and low level and sporadic physical abuse involved.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now