Are all men complete numpties?

[carolmusic]

I need reassurance that not all men are complete numpties but my history just proves to me that they are. It must be me who attracts this kind of man. I’ve had enough of them causing me agro when I just want a peaceful life with a man who doesn’t seem to want to tell me what to do with my life when I’ve spent the last 16 years practically running a home, job and looking after my kids single handedly. Why can’t I find someone who just wants to be with me and take me as I am and who just wants to love me. I give up.

[LesisMiserable]

Erm, no. Change your perspective, choose differently,,get different results. Simple.

[pallasathena]

There do appear to be more numpties about these days I agree. Something to do with expectations, according to an article I read a while ago now...Guardian maybe?
It appears that women are being unrealistic looking for perfection in a man and when they don't find it, they try to 'change', the poor sod into something more acceptable.
Men, equally, are seemingly stuck on the physicality aspect of a 'perfect 10' and view serious relationships as best avoided, preferring the modern method of interaction via OLD.
So, there's a disconnect (generally speaking) between what women want and what men want.
Happily, (according to the article) the biological clock goes off for both men and women at certain points in their lives. It is this that evidently, sorts it all out.
Numpties no more, according to the article.
There is hope it appears!

[PlipPlopPlip]

If I had a daughter (or my younger self of course) I would tell her (in as pleasant an upbeat way as possible of course) to try not to waste her energies chasing a man "to have a relationship with". She would really be better of putting her energies into other things in life! If some great guy came along, all well and good, and maybe some adjustment of plan, but I would still encourage her to focus on her life and other things that are important to her.

Interesting sounding article Pallas - do you remember what it was called? However, I'm not convinced about men getting better as they get older as their biological clock winds down. There are a lot of miserable old codgers on OLD in my age group (50s) and the attractive ones are very entitled re. what they want (usually very superficial). Maybe they improve by their 70s .

[RhubarbKing]

Well for my 2 pence and in the defence of some men, no we aren't all numpties.
I've never hit a Woman, I have a job, no substance abuse issues, I don't do affairs, I like treating them to weekends away. I don't mind housework, I like to travel, don't suffer from depression and stay in shape, I'm good looking I've been told and I don't suffer from premature ejaculations. And I'd REALLY like you to believe I'm respectful and not arrogant.
Every girl I meet leaves me and say's I'm too nice or they don't know who they are blah blah blah.
Every girl I've met who's been in an abusive relationship pushes me away. Yes some girls love the drama of a bad boy or are psychologically scarred they cant accept meeting a nice guy. I loose hope reading all the self-conceited selfish posts on this site.

[Notreallyarsed]

No they’re not all numpties. My dad and DP are two examples of good, decent men. My 2 BIL too, and hopefully my sons when they become men. My brother on the other hand.....

[User36367292]

Most of the better ones are already taken I'm afraid so it's a much small pool in which to fish!

[SensitiveOldAgeGuy]

@RhubarbKing Thu 19-Oct-17 12:24:06

I'm good looking I've been told and I don't suffer from premature ejaculations. And I'd REALLY like you to believe I'm respectful and not arrogant.

You forgot not conceited.

[DadDadDad]

Thanks, RhubarbKing, I hadn't appreciated that experiencing premature ejaculation put a man on the numpty list with wife-beaters and drug-abusers.

(As a man) it's obvious to me that thread titles like this are not literally trying to claim that all men are rubbish, but someone venting about their own experience. So, I don't usually feel the need to respond.

But obviously, I'm delighted to have you speak up for men and show the OP why they are wrong.

[carolmusic]

Thanks everyone, there may be hope yet but I know I’m not perfect but I obviously attract the idiots and at my age (45) I can’t be arsed anymore. I think my problem is I’m so independent and have learned to not rely on a man, that when one comes along he doesn’t know his roll. I still give up and to the second poster, I’ve tried changing my attitude and that doesn’t help especially when it’s one sided!

[LesisMiserable]

I'm the second poster and what I said change your perspective not your attitude. Choose differently than you'd normally go for? Obviously you need to be attracted to them. Also, most men are absolutely ok with independent women, find one of those they are not that rare if you open yourself up in the right way.

[category12]

No they're not. But it's good to have standards .

[TheNaze73]

You sound pretty perfect OP.

I’m male & the last thing I’d want as I approach my 50’s, is a needy clingy partner.

[MyBrilliantDisguise]

TheNaze, meet Carol. Carol - TheNaze.

Job done.

[TheNaze73]

That cracked me up @MyBrilliantDisguise

Wouldn’t wish that on the OP!

[carolmusic]

Oh blimey, thanks @TheNaze73

[Ruddygreattiger2016]

Hmm, kind of agree that most men I had relationships with turned out to be complete dickheads as are most ones I meet now. As another poster I have also had a chat with my dd letting her know she has a whole world of opportunities ahead of her and not to throw it all away on a bloke, just not worth the bother .

[Be3Al2Si6O18]

Yes, I'm a numpty.