My husband has walked out of the house again after being argumentative all morning. We have a family wedding to attend this weekend and had differing opinions about how to approach the 5 hour drive with DC (2yo).
These arguments occur out of the blue quite frequently and I am often at a loss as to how they start. I am trying to not raise my voice around DC as he is almost 3 and tells us to stop yelling but hubby will follow me around the house to continue the argument.
If I go into the bedroom and shut the door he will storm in and stand there in the doorway holding the door handle while shouting argumentative nonsense at me. He then looks at me like I'm pathetic when I start crying.
In his calm moments he will admit his communication is off or that he stressed with work but I am a SAHM at the moment and have been able to set any plans in motion for my future as I seem to always be recovering from these arguments that always seem to take me surprise.
He took DC with him and I hate the fact the he being the fun parent taking him to the park while I am the sadsack at home by herself, crying and feeling helpless.
Last year he slapped me across the shoulder when I took DC off him one night. I had our baby in my arms with my back to him and it completely took me by surprise. It really stung and he ended up staying in a hotel for a few days. A few months ago he told me that I should stay in hotel too for a break bc it did him a lot of good!
Everynight he just reads his phone or rewatches shows on his laptop with his headphones in so there any a few days a week where DC is the only person I talk too.
I told my mum and a few of my friends how unhappy and unsupported I feel but I feel like they don't believe me. I actually asked one of my closet friends if I could keep some spare clothes for DC at her house incase I ever need a quick getaway and a few days later she texted him about something instead of me which obvs made me feel terrible. He is very charming and joins me whenever I see my friends but sees his on his own.
We have had sex once in the last 12 months and he seems to have no interest in it anymore.
He just sent me a text saying 'sorry for before x'.
I feel like I should leave him but I have no idea how to do it without support from my friends and I dont feel it is bad enough to contact a shelter. I actually called a domestic violence hotline last year after he slapped me and got the impression that there wasn't much they could do. They gave me another number to call during business hours but I didn't call it.
There is no real 'honeymoon' period after our arguments so its not even that the high and the lows are getting me down, but more the constant lows are making it harder for me to get back up to a base level of happiness.
We have moved 3 times since DC was born and I am so desperate for some stability but it is so hard to make plans for the future when his ideas change all the time and we can't discuss anything without arguing.
Bit of a rant sorry so I'll stop here. I guess I'm just after a bit of objective advice as I feel like I'm losing my mind at that my life is going nowhere. Thanks for reading if you got this far!
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How to know when it's bad enough to leave?
13 replies
Ivylee · 19/10/2017 04:38
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Ivylee ·
19/10/2017 06:31
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