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Presents for my Mother

(6 Posts)
albertatrilogy Wed 18-Oct-17 14:36:28

My mother is very old, though in quite good health. My plan was to visit her for a forthcoming birthday and this has turned into a family pub lunch with my two brothers, my sister-in-law, my sister-in-law's Dad etc. Her previous year's birthday was a milestone one - though at her age every birthday is significant.

I'm on quite a low wage, so tend to buy gifts that are relatively modest. My older brother is better paid. We also have a very different relationship with my mother. Essentially she likes her two sons more than she likes me. Often my gifts to her are commented on rather unfavourably, or are seen as surplus to requirements. They will take up too much space or are too much like gifts that I have already given her. (Another X or Y or Z. But you gave me one last year!) On the other hand doing something different is risky. She said she would give a book about the foreign city she was born in to a friend. The friend might like it.

Anyway, I thought I'd solve the issue this year by getting her a rather nice scarf. Yes, I've given her these in previous years, but they don't take up too much room. And I'd give her a cactus. She likes them and doesn't kill them like she kills other houseplants. (It's extremely hot in her flat.)

Anyway my older brother rang last night and we were discussing arrangements for the day. He said he was getting her an iPad. (She has a desktop PC and a Kindle already) I felt like giving up.

Which is, I suppose, okay.

Because in the competition for her love, I will always lose... But I still can't stop myself from wanting to compete.

Cricrichan Wed 18-Oct-17 14:42:47

Maybe get her a cover/stand for the iPad?

But don't compete. Your brother can afford.more so he's going to.give a more expensive present. If.your.mum can't understand that, then she's not worth your concern. If you're a parent yourself, then you know it's the thought that counts.

Goldmonday Wed 18-Oct-17 14:45:32

Stop trying to please her. It’s extremely rude and disrespectful to make such remarks about gifts, especially if she knows you are on a budget.

Why don’t you get her something practical that she needs? My parents once for Christmas bought us a new toilet cistern as they noticed ours playing up when the visited. Most people were horrified when I told them but we were more than happy!!!

Lookatmenow Wed 18-Oct-17 14:47:07

i agree with a cover for i-pad or some lovely cosy flannette PJ's /Nightie - my mum loved these more than live itself smile

KityGlitr Wed 18-Oct-17 14:50:19

Stop competing for the affection of someone who doesn't sound like she deserves you. She sounds so ungracious she's lucky you're bothering with a gift at all. You'll be amazed how much lighter you feel when you let go and accept the relationship is what it is and you can't win her love any more than she's willing to give. Scarf sounds lovely, and I'm sure if you found a way to buy her a Ferrari she'd still find a way of giving you shit about it cos you're not your brothers. Being old and related by blood is no excuse for being such a dick to you.

tehmina23 Wed 18-Oct-17 15:04:59

Don't compete - my sister can buy expensive gifts but I can't but my parents appreciate all their gifts.

It really is the thought that counts!
Maybe make a photo book of you and your mum?

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