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2nd baby

(9 Posts)
Emabrmsca Wed 18-Oct-17 06:38:23

Hi me and my partner were going to try for a 2nd baby and he has told me he doesn't want anymore now. I am desperate for another baby.
I don't know what to do.
His reason for not wanting another is because of sleepless nights and he doesn't really like the baby stage. It's causing arguments and we aren't really speaking much to each other at the minute.

I don't know wether to leave or to just accept we won't have any more children.
What would you do in my situation?

Bruceishavingfish Wed 18-Oct-17 07:33:39

Theres no right answer to this.

I dont want more kids for the same reasons. And believe its perfectly ok to not want kids/more kids.

Its also perfectly ok to want more kids too.

But every relationship/situation is different. From wether you can accept not having anymore, to age to how the relationship is in general.

No one can say wether you should leave or stay.

Its such a difficult one though. flowers

Bruceishavingfish Wed 18-Oct-17 07:35:29

Ph snd if dh was desperate for more babies, i wouldnt have one. But i would accept that he may leave. I would not hold anyone back from having the kids they want.

Dh is far more maternal than i am. And for us, that situation is probably more likely than me wanting them.

Emabrmsca Wed 18-Oct-17 07:44:32

Thankyou for replying.
Just needed to ask other people's opinions because it's all I can think about.

I feel I am unreasonable to leave him as we already have a family but at the same time I don't know if I can not have another child.
He has said if I want to leave then just go.
Everything is just a bit hard at the minute.
He says I can't even cope with the one we have now. It's not true, sometimes I feel a little like I'm not the best mum ever but I do everything for my little girl, she's 2 so having a lot of tantrums at the minute that I find hard to deal with but I'm trying my best.

eeanne Wed 18-Oct-17 07:46:45

I feel I am unreasonable to leave him as we already have a family but at the same time I don't know if I can not have another child.

Is he the father of your first child? If so it is extremely selfish to leave him and break up your family over this.You're essentially prioritizing a non-existent potential future child over the one you already have. Very very unreasonable.

Emabrmsca Wed 18-Oct-17 08:11:13

I understand that, that's why I did say it would be unreasonable to leave him. But how do you get over the feeling of needing another baby? I want one for my daughter as well as my own selfish reasons. I would love for her to have a sibling.

LML83 Wed 18-Oct-17 08:19:00

I always wanted two children and dh was happy with that. After DD arrived I couldn't face it for longer than I expected (5 year age gap) I went through a period of no more children then when it got a little easier all the reasons I had wanted a second came back. Maybe your dh will be the same it's hard to add to workload when you are tired. Also jump from 0 to 1 child is much bigger than from 1 to 2.

eeanne Wed 18-Oct-17 08:19:41

Emabrmsca I don't know if you can get over that feeling. But leaving isn't an obvious resolution, and assuming everything else in your relationship is generally OK, it could have really negative consequences for your daughter.

How old are you? If your daughter is only 2 there's still time for both of you to think about having another. I got pregnant with #2 when DC1 was 16 months, to be honest if we'd waited until she was 2 we might not have gone for it. It's a really difficult age!

Emabrmsca Wed 18-Oct-17 08:26:58

2 is a difficult age I agree smile i definitely find it harder now than when she was a baby. But we are getting there. Hopefully he will change his mind in the future. I think I'm just a bit hormonal at the minute. I don't think I will do anything drastic like leave him. I just think I need to think of the positives of having an only child instead of only seeing the negatives x

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