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(15 Posts)
AnnamariaM Tue 17-Oct-17 22:03:01


I have been married for 15 yrs and it's been ok most of the time but dia the rest of the time. But lately I have seen my husband getting so irritated with me if I ask even a simple question. It hurts because I know he does not find me attractive anymore. Sex twice since June. I am privileged to have the most amazing parents that pay rent for our home and the bills. He has his wage of 1300 ish and I have mine of 2500 ish a month. I lost my job and my licence through DD and I feel heartbroken and I know I deserve what I get. But I will never ever do it again, please don't be hurtful to me about this as I cry most nights anyway but I promise it will never happen again. But I just want some advise as how I can move on as I know he won't leave as my family and I pay for everything. I know I need to split but don't know how. And we split up 18m ago but got back together ( that's another story as jealousy made me weak) but he slept with someone in that 6 weeks apart after 14yrs marriage. I am so sad. I just want to feel loved and a hug would be lovely but I won't get that anymore. He is not a bad man but I think I am being used.

Thank you for reading but please don't think I am a bad person with the DD conviction. I made a massive mistake and I am paying the price now and for a long time after.

Thank you for any advise. He is on the tenancy agreement but through a company let if anybody understands that's because I don't.

Thank you again. Xx

Myheartbelongsto Tue 17-Oct-17 22:13:08

Get him out and then pay your own way in life.

AnnamariaM Tue 17-Oct-17 22:21:58

I am paying my own way in life. But he won't leave

MisiSam Tue 17-Oct-17 22:22:52

It sounds like she already pays her own way in life (and his too)
Sorry op I don’t have much advice to give apart from the cliche do what makes you happy and be strong, everyone deserves to be loved and treated well. Good luck

AnnamariaM Tue 17-Oct-17 22:23:07

Sorry you mean not rely on my parents. X

AnnamariaM Tue 17-Oct-17 22:30:56

Thank you for your kind words and seeing the bigger picture. I am a nice person honestly 😁

Cricrichan Tue 17-Oct-17 22:38:23

What's DD?

PamelaFlitton31 Tue 17-Oct-17 22:43:47

Drink driving.

seven201 Wed 18-Oct-17 11:52:47

So you lost your job because of drink driving? Were your parents paying your rent before then or only after? Have you got another job yet? How long can your parents afford to pay the rent?

It sounds like you don't have any children? That should make it easier. If he left before then you can get him to leave again. Maybe your parents could be there when you tell him. Speak to the landlord to ask about removing someone from the tenancy. Change the locks once he's gone. Don't let him back into your life again.

HotNatured Wed 18-Oct-17 18:18:56

Tell the sponging arsehole to do one.

It's quite simple. Really.

Just do it.

Bruceishavingfish Wed 18-Oct-17 18:25:36

If you lost your job, how do you earn 2500 a month?

Did his lack of interest in you coincide with the drink driving?

Are there issues around drink in your relationship?

f83mx Wed 18-Oct-17 18:35:06

Get yourself a job (non-driving) - just anything, how long is the tenancy for?

Ellisandra Wed 18-Oct-17 19:27:10

Surely you just give notice on the tenancy?
Your parents are paying your rent and bills so they're supportive - so just move back in with them.

It's not good enough to say you don't understand the letting arrangement on which you are a tenant. You need to grow up. Why did you sign it if you didn't understand it? What's stopping you going to CAB or your parents with the tenancy Agreement now to learn? It sounds like rather than simply being generous paying your rent and bills, you have allowed yourself to be infantilised by that.

Presumably if it's a company let, its through his company as you lost your job. If it's his company renting it out, I'd be surprised if they needed a rent guarantor. So - your parents could just stop paying if you move out. Are you both Joint and severally liable for the rent? If you don't know - FIND OUT.

Thebluedog Wed 18-Oct-17 20:20:35

Kick him out or if you're renting, and have a joint tenancy, speak to your landlord and explain the situation and find somewhere else to live without him.

I lost my licence for 6 months a few years ago due to totting up if points. At the time I thought it was the end of life as I knew it, but it wasn't and actually I saw positives out if it.

SilverySurfer Wed 18-Oct-17 20:43:15

So if you have a combined income of 3,800 a month can I ask why your parents are paying your rent? How are you earning 2.5k a month if you lost your job? Is the rented property in both of your names? How long before the tenancy ends? Can you give notice on the tenancy? At that point you could move back with your parents or find a place to rent yourself.

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