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He hit me.....

(29 Posts)
user1497293766 Tue 17-Oct-17 00:36:13

My partner of 15 years has an alcohol problem. Tbf I thought we where getting somewhere when he gave up for 3 months with no help. It started to creep back I whilst we where on holiday. Well today he has been drinking since god knows when. I locked the doors up and went to bed. We have 4 kids 13, 12, 4 and 2. We live in a bungalow. Could here him knocking frantically on the door which is glass and the windows and he was getting really mad. When he's drunk he gets verbally agressive and yes he scares me. He once smashed the house up whilst drunk. Her manage to get my 13 yr old windows open and tried to climb though shouting all sorts of horrible things. I tried to stop him. And he slapped me really hard across the face....I was really shocked and he just carried on shouting and got thru the window. All in front of my 13 yr old son who was crying terrified. He's now in the living room hopefully passed out. I need paracetamol my head is pounding and I am still shaking. I need to a drink my mouth is dry . The kitchen is thru the living room.
He leaving tomorrow I will be sure of it. Even if I have to get the police involved. He's done it once right so it will happen again? 😢

BastardGoDarkly Tue 17-Oct-17 00:42:55

Yes, it will, I'm so sorry love.

You and your children deserve to live free of fear.

Is the bathroom any closer? Can you get a drink out of the tap?

Rescuepuppydaft2 Tue 17-Oct-17 00:44:33

Please call the police, teach your son that you won't put up with anymore abuse. Your poor boy should never have to witness that kind of behaviour! When your son wakes in the morning your husband should be gone. So you can concentrate on recovering and supporting your boy. Does your son have school tomorrow? If he does I would contact the school and explain what happened.

Are you OK op? Has your husband damaged anything when he hit you? Should you be getting a check up at the nurse/ doctor tomorrow?

stopbeingadramallama Tue 17-Oct-17 00:50:40

Please just call the police.

You and the kids do NOT deserve this.

You shouldn’t have to deal with this and your children shouldn’t have to witness this behaviour. My mum used to have a drinking problem and used to fight with all the family, and went to prison for attacking me in the end. (Not saying this for any sympathy) but no one deserves to live like this.

Make sure you and your children are safe and get away from this horrible man.

user1497293766 Tue 17-Oct-17 00:50:48

Am fine just shocked and shaken. My face is stinging a bit and have a few marks on my wrists and hands after wrestling with the window. I can't sleep my head is spinning.
I don't know what to do.....when he's sober tomorrow he will go and I will make sure of it.
My son is sleeping on my bedroom floor as he's scared to go in his room sad luckily the 4 yr old and my daughter slept through it. The 2yr old seems to know somethings up as he was awake in my bedroom and he's very very quiet sad
Maybe I should have just opened the door in the first place. Then none of this may have not happened

stopbeingadramallama Tue 17-Oct-17 00:52:32

You obviously didn’t open the door because you know what he’s like when he’s drunk. Do not feel bad about any of this. His actions have caused this. He is horrible and a violent thug.

Rescuepuppydaft2 Tue 17-Oct-17 01:14:34

Please don't let your son sleep on your bedroom floor terrified! Call the police now! What if he wakes and is violent again? If you have access to the internet you can contact the police and get him removed now! You have children to protect!

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 17-Oct-17 01:20:28

Is there a reason you aren’t calling the police now? Could you tell us?

keepcalmandfuckon Tue 17-Oct-17 01:27:45

Please call the police. You really need to. Why is your son on the floor?

TashaRomanoff Tue 17-Oct-17 01:44:29

Why is your son on the floor? Call the police and bring your son into bed with you.

Hugs OP tardis

user1497293766 Tue 17-Oct-17 02:28:01

My son is okay now. Cuddles and hes gone back to his bed and he's now asleep. Been quiet since partner got back. He's passed put on the sofa most likely.
I can't sleep.....It keeps going round my head what happened.

musicform Tue 17-Oct-17 02:36:30

Why haven't you called the police. You are allowing your son to be part of the abuse

oldted Tue 17-Oct-17 02:39:32

Call the police now, tell them everything & ask for him removing for your safety.

Cricrichan Tue 17-Oct-17 02:41:23

Call the police now. Explain it how you have here.

Shoxfordian Tue 17-Oct-17 06:05:48

Please call the police and get him out of your house

TiesThatBindMe Tue 17-Oct-17 07:29:46

Do you think he'll leave quietly when sober? Be careful trying to get rid of him. I think you really do need police involvement given last night's behaviour. He might go this morning but could come back again drunk any night in the future and you'll have a repeat performance. Police really are called for in this case both to get rid of him now and to deter him from coming back in the future. Sorry dear. I know it's shit. But it's called for. flowers

AliceWhatsth3Matter Tue 17-Oct-17 07:36:56

You need police involvement now, you're assuming your partner will go quietly and not return but that is a big assumption.

Your son is not alright now. He may have gone back to sleep but he won't forget what he saw or the terror he felt. He needs to see you taking decisive steps to protect yourself and your children from this violent man.

You're right, now your partner has crossed that line more violence will come much more easily. Living in fear of that is a terrible way for you and your children to live.

Don't under estimate the damage even an open handed slap to the head can do. You will still "see stars" - yes, that's real - be left stunned and bruised. Protect yourself and your children, get police help now. Be decisive, act.

BastardGoDarkly Tue 17-Oct-17 07:43:02

How are you this morning? How's your son?

Please don't feel you've failed by not calling the police, you were there last night, and judged for yourself.

It may be something to consider this morning? Call women's aid if you need someone to talk to.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Tue 17-Oct-17 10:47:03

Hi OP, sorry this happened to you - can you update us? Are you OK?

stopbeingadramallama Tue 17-Oct-17 11:27:41

Hey, been thinking about this thread since last night.

Hope you’re okay x

Ellendegeneres Tue 17-Oct-17 11:42:01

I really hope you've had him removed and are safe flowers

user1497293766 Tue 17-Oct-17 18:40:31

Hi everyone thank you for your concern. I have been out most the day so managed to avoid him. He has left and had taken the camper van and is staying away in that till he finds somewhere more permanent.
He just said sorry and there was no excuses for what he did etc.....He also apologised to our son.
Hoping to get some sleep tonight. Today emotions have gone from being upset to relieved. Trying to keep occupied. I have told one friend but tbh I don't really feel like talking to anyone in rl about it yet.

debbs77 Tue 17-Oct-17 18:44:59

Why oh why didn't you ring the police? If not for you but to show your son that you won't put up with this

Mrskeats Tue 17-Oct-17 18:45:48

I hope you are going to contact the police or women’s aid today
What a horrible experience. Please don’t let your kids witness this again by letting him back in.

keeponworking Tue 17-Oct-17 18:51:20

Sorry OP but I'm going to be super blunt with you and you can take it or leave it.

You have NOT protected your children. I predict that toerag will be allowed back into your life (and your children's) as soon as he offers up a pathetic tidal wave of self serving 'regret

You have NOT shown your children that this kind of behaviour is totally unacceptable and cannot be tolerated. Now anyone who knows how the brain works will tell you that there's not just fight or flight, there's a 'do nothing' option as well. Your brain has taken you down this route due to a stressful and traumatic event that blew your mind.

But what you do NOW is critical. This WILL get worse if you take him back. It HAS (it has, it has, it has, it has) ALREADY damaged your children - not only this event but the seeing him pissed before and angry before (which you indicate he may have already behaved like previously) - it HAS affected them.

You need to kick this shit out of you and your children's lives NOW and not look back.

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