Hello All
I'd really appreciate if people could share how they deal with/handle/cope with their biological mother who hates them? I'm really struggling at the moment and I'm all alone.
Back story is I'm the middle child of 3 and my mother has always made me feel unwanted, a burden, expendable, ugly, dirty and a problem.
I'm 36yrs old now yet I'm still having to deal with the same crap and I'm so tired.
I have never been shown/given unconditional love or support and it has really affected me as its given freely to my siblings.
I have been made to take on financial responsibilities (I wasn't allowed to eat or drink for free but my siblings were) since i was 16yrs old and now have to pay 100% for everything for my parents (not in the UK) from bills, medical, food, pets, salaries, taxes and even her holidays and I don't even live in the same country let alone same house!
Circumstances have recently and suddenly changed, my 15yr marriage has ended, I've had to move countries, I have no job or business as I left both to be a trailing spouse for the last 2.5yrs. I'd come home to get a break and sort out the divorce (we were married here) and bse I had no where else to go and as I'm trying to stretch my now meagre savings.
I was supposed to have left in September to start a masters course in another country and look for a job. A friend offered me her holiday apartment there for a few months to help me get on my feet but my dad became very very ill suddenly that I had to defer my uni entry.
During this period I have clashed with my mother so many times, she has never once asked me how I'm doing only ever piled more crap for me to deal with, guilt tripping me at every turn and point, expecting me to fund and fulfill her every wish and those of her favoured children and grandchildren whilst maintaining she is the victim always.
I just need to break free of this vicious cycle and I don't know how to. I have no energy, I've tried ignoring but she knows which buttons to push, I'm struggling physically as im the sole carer for my dad and for her whilst dealing with my own autoimmune disease. I'm exhausted and have no one to turn to.
So much more to say but no energy, just wondered what others have done when faced with similar situations?
Thanks
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Relationships
If your mother hated you
BellarinatheCAG · 16/10/2017 22:40
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