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Recovery after emotional affair

(3 Posts)
Leftforemotionalaffair Mon 16-Oct-17 15:19:46

My H had a 3 month emotional affair with and ex. We separated towards the end of it because things were intolerable for both of us. It ended last Friday, had been on/off for a while before that. H broke down after out of pain of it ending and guilt. Last Tuesday he went to therapy and came over afterwards and we agreed to work on things. We talked about the future and the plan to deal with what happened. Since then we have made some other positive steps but he has also been wracked by anxiety and has said he can’t make a decision. He was in such a bad way that he went to dr and was given meds for depression/anxiety and dr told him not to make decisions until he was more himself. I don’t know where this leaves me. I want to at least try to work on things, I guess I expected a dramatic apology and a continuous upswing, not a mental health breakdown and no decision. The rational part of me knows he is in a bad place and has to get his head together and hopefully that will lead to postive change but the other side of me wants to fix it now. H has admitted that he wasn’t that unhappy with our marriage and that it was about him so I don’t get the doubts, not sure if they come from guilt or from not wantongn be with me or from still comparing me to EA. Anyone btdt with affair recovery?

Myheartbelongsto Mon 16-Oct-17 16:05:26

I'd let him go.

123lookatme Mon 16-Oct-17 16:31:07

Are you sure he isnt mourning the EA ending? Sounds very dramatic in my situation it was me who was on teh verge of a breakdown after DH EA. Im 14 months on from EA and about to end it, we cant go on like this...I have been through hell and back and although DH was mortified when I found out and about what he had done and put me through...14 months on and he cant understand why I can "forget about it and move on". We recently went to a wedding and I remember hearing the vows thinking he'd broken everyone of ours.

For me it's not got better, I feel very bitter and angry still

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