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Am I being selfish?

(5 Posts)
Snowdrop567 Sun 15-Oct-17 15:59:27

Been with DH 14 years, married for ten. We get on ok most of the time. In some ways he is a good husband-was very supportive when my Mum died and when I was diagnosed with a serious illness. Problem is that I'm lonely now, feel unloved etc. We are rarely intimate as he has a low sex drive it seems. Looking back it has just got gradually worse and worse. He also has ED. Although at my suggestion he did go to GP nothing is really helping. When we do have sex it feels awkward, he doesn't seem to be 'into it'. I haven't changed since he's known me I'm still slim and look after myself. I feel so unloved and undesired that now I seem to have lost my attraction to him. This is to the point that he irritates me generally and I know that I'm being unfair. I never initiate sex anymore originally because I couldn't take the rejection but now more because I just don't fancy him anymore.
Sometimes I just want to walk away....just to be on my own.... My relationship is now almost sexless and the sex that we do have feels empty and mechanical.
Just need someone to tell me 'am I just being selfish?' Should I just put up with things the way they are or should I leave ?

Bibbidee Sun 15-Oct-17 16:07:37

OP, I recommend this book. Sadly it was too late for me but this book was very informative. John Gottman has written lots of books, so have a look. Go look him up too, he's quite accomplished.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B007OS060U/ref=mpss_a11_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1508079894&sr=8-4&pi=ACSX2366_SY340_QL65&keywords=john+gottman

justdontevenfuckingstart Sun 15-Oct-17 16:12:36

Not being selfish, if you're unhappy and don't want to be in a relationship anymore for whatever reason it's ok to do that x

Bibbidee Sun 15-Oct-17 16:15:46

OP, is you DH using porn or pleasuring himself? It might be the reason why he's not interested?

Snowdrop567 Sun 15-Oct-17 16:21:03

Bibidee, No I'm pretty sure he's not.

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