Hi,
Any advice from people who've dated Muslim men before, or who have knowledge of Islam would be helpful...
I started dating a Muslim recently, we met online and chatted for about a month. I found out a lot about him before he revealed he is Muslim - he only mentioned this after I asked if he followed a religion and to be honest I was quite surprised he is Muslim. He simply said "Muslim" and then changed the subject. (He is from South Africa and we live in the Middle East.)
Throughout our conversations he seemed very liberal. He's done drugs and drink in the past, and now regrets those things, and had some horrendous experiences which he shared with me. He no longer does either of these which he told me was due to his bad experiences.
He didn't talk about his religion at all, but discussed various things (e.g. the past drug use) that seemed very much at odds with how a strict Muslim should live, and so I just assumed he wasn't taking his religion too seriously and wasn't following it in a strict manner. He never once mentioned praying or anything like that.
Anyway, on our third date we ended up having sex, it wasn't planned at all but there was clearly a lot of chemistry between us and we had a strong connection. As we'd got on so well, I was expecting more dates and to see where it would end up. I was also hoping for the sex part to develop.
However, the next day he messaged me saying that he feels he's betrayed his promise to God by having sex with me, as he doesn't believe in sex before marriage as is following Islam. Now bear in mind our conversations had taken a sexual turn a few weeks before, plus on this night we did sleep together he was the one taking the lead, he was the one who asked to come back to mine, he was the one who initiated the sex. But somehow I feel guilty as if I have done something wrong... he hasn't said this but he said something along the lines of "well what was I supposed to do when faced with the temptation" almost as if i there myself at him or something. I just feel really depressed about the fact I slept with him. I'm also upset as I thought it was going somewhere yet we're clearly on very different pathways which I feel a bit hoodwinked about, as he didn't once mention his religion being important to him. He also said that's the real reason eh doesn't drink... why wouldn't he just tell me it's because of his religion?!
I said I don't think I want to continue to see him as I feel really confused about everything, and he seemed shocked and annoyed. I don't really know what I'm hoping to get from posting, maybe just some clarity. I'm also wondering why he kept so quiet about his religion if it is so
Important to him?!
Also want to clarify that I am in no way anti Islam or anything like that. Is it even possible to date a Muslim as a non Muslim?! I don't follow any religion.
Sorry for the rambling post. Thanks!
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Relationships
Dating a Muslim?
Confusion1 · 15/10/2017 15:16
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