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Where to meet men

(13 Posts)
Mumtumwhatever Sat 14-Oct-17 10:51:54

I've been divorced for 3 years (my initiation), I have a great job, relatively attractive and very kind, 2 lovely kids and feel as though I have a lot to offer and look forward to having a relationship.

I've been OND but that never works out, there is no one at work and no apparent singletons at the grocery store (!) and I live semi rurally surrounded by married friends.

This is more of a rant because another weekend is upon me (without the children) and generally I'm an optimistic person but I'm just feeling a bit low.

TheNaze73 Sat 14-Oct-17 11:48:21

A lot of men will be watching sport at the weekend. Maybe go to a local rugby match?
Alternatively, an event night at a local pub on a Friday night?

CandleWithHair Sat 14-Oct-17 11:49:22

I have no good advice for you just posting in solidarity. Same scenario as you minus the kids - I even work in central London where you'd think there was unlimited opportunity for meaningful looks on the tube etc (ha! As if anyone ever voluntarily looks up from their phone!).

OLD leaves me cold, it's all so backwards - every relationship I've ever had has been a progression of sorts from knowing someone to fancying them. I've looked at MeetUp but every group seems to be 95% women. I was recently pondering whether I should join the local Sunday morning 5 a side league.... grin

pascalpascal Sat 14-Oct-17 12:57:34

Well, I’m a man... ...and have the same problem!
Not only is it knowing where to go to meet women, but how do you know they are single? Okay you can ask, but you feel like a ‘pest’.

Mumtumwhatever Sat 14-Oct-17 13:29:59

Well nice to hear I'm not the only one and living in London is not necessarily the solution!

I've tried golf courses, wine tastings, running groups etc. and lots of OLD.

After nicely chatting to one man online I asked about his plans for the weekend and added cheekily "maybe meeting a nice lady you've been chatting to online...?" to which he responded, "do you normally ask compete strangers out on dates?!".

Jeeze, isn't that why we're online? I don't need a bloody pen pal and there is always that disappointment when you get along so well online to then meet and realise there is absolutely zero chemistry!


springydaffs Sat 14-Oct-17 13:40:19

to which he responded, "do you normally ask compete strangers out on dates?!"

Ugh. How dull.

Keep going, keep plugging away.

whippetwoman Sat 14-Oct-17 13:45:20

I've said this before on here and I will no doubt say it again but join a local indoor climbing club. I have never in my life seen so many people get together from this activity. Unlike running you have to hold ropes, chat to people, have time to get to know people. Honestly, no-one thinks they can do it but go to a club night and people will be very happy to show you the ropes. Literally. It's male dominated. I know loads of couples who got together and now have children from climbing.

Mumtumwhatever Sat 14-Oct-17 14:04:03

Whippetwoman, now there's a great idea!

Also it's great that it is a healthy activity so there are like minded people there (vs in the pub).

Off to go research my local clubs....😃

Mumtumwhatever Sat 14-Oct-17 14:18:12

Signed up for a 3.30pm taster session today. 😬

But it might be a really good thing as I will recce the place as my kids want to get into it too.

trainedopossum Sat 14-Oct-17 14:46:14

Climbing is a great suggestion and I'd add rowing. We often see a rowing club in the pub and they seem very sparky and happy, proud of their accomplishments (they often talk about the day's rowing, show us photos of where they've been etc) and it is a mixed group (mixed ages and mixed sex).

CandleWithHair Mon 16-Oct-17 20:34:39

Typical! The one recommendation that sounds sensible and... I'm scared of heights! grin

whippetwoman Mon 16-Oct-17 20:40:21

Ooh, that's great about the climbing! Fingers crossed!

Sadik Mon 16-Oct-17 21:53:41

Good luck! Sounds like a great recommendation - shame the nearest wall is rather a long way away, and like Candle I'm terrified of heights grin

pascalpascal - I've taken to blatently dropping the fact that I'm separated into conversation when I meet new people. It felt a bit unnatural at first, but I've found it's actually quite easy to let it come up naturally (eg by mentioning that I can stay out because dd is with my ex). That way I don't need to ask about their relationship status - and if they feel moved to mention it then it's up to them . . .

I'm just dipping my toe into OLD without much optimism, but I'm also making a real effort to go out to pretty much anything on offer in the way of gigs, parties etc, even if I have to go on my own and might not know many people. I figure I can always bale out and go home if it's grim.

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