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Contact between dates

(20 Posts)
fishbowl05 Fri 13-Oct-17 18:10:58

Just that really.

Good first date Monday. We kissed and he said he wanted to see me again, several times. He got straight in touch when he got home then have since made plans for next week. He is away this weekend.

I haven't heard from him today - I sent the last message yesterday evening but I appreciate he may have been out - had travelled to see friends.

Should I be concerned or is this normal? I was thinking of getting back in touch Sunday if I haven't heard.

He's quite a bit older than me (38 vs 29) so not sure if our behaviours might be different?!

ComtesseDeSpair Fri 13-Oct-17 18:20:53

I wouldn't read anything into it to be honest. I don't text people I'm dating anything close to every day. I have close friends I don't text every day. Near strangers aren't going to be treated any differently! Don't know if it's an age thing - I'm 30 - but daily text contact is just never something I've gotten into.

I think leaving it until Sunday and then messaging to ask after his travels and weekend and would he like to go out again one day this week etc is well-pitched, personally.

ComtesseDeSpair Fri 13-Oct-17 18:22:40

Should also add, the not texting doesn't mean I don't like somebody - more just that I presume men I've only seen a handful of times aren't really interested in the minutiae of my everyday life and I'd rather save conversation to in person or proper texts about something out of the ordinary.

Oakleygirl Fri 13-Oct-17 18:28:03

Texts are the bane of my life, lol. I've had the same problem as you OP, getting used to the texting pattern of my dp in a relatively new relationship! He regularly goes "off radar" and I've had to learn not to let it stress me out (getting there, but slowly). I think as the relationship progresses you may learn to stress less like I have. It's easy to think we have been forgotten about, when in reality he may just be busy.....hopefully he will text you this evening, but if not, try not to stress, he is most likely oblivious that it is worrying you.

fishbowl05 Fri 13-Oct-17 18:29:37

We've already planned the date - day, meeting point - all instigated by him - so I'm inclined to think there's nothing much else to say at this point.

Oakleygirl Fri 13-Oct-17 18:39:47

That may be the reason then, my dp will often text something like "still ok for this evening" on the day of our planned meeting, so maybe the next you hear from him will be when he returns from his weekend away.

EmmaC78 Fri 13-Oct-17 20:33:39

I agree I wouldn't read too much in to it. I would maybe just text mid-week and say you hoped he had a good weekend away and that you are looking forward to the weekend. Constant texting would annoy me tbh unless there was something specific to say.

fishbowl05 Fri 13-Oct-17 23:09:14

We're meeting Tuesday so messaging Sunday feels ok I think. He's at a wedding this weekend abroad so presumably won't be able to message a lot.

Thymeout Fri 13-Oct-17 23:55:02

He's been away for the weekend. You sent the last text. Give him a chance to reply. If you haven't heard by Mon evening, that's when I'd text to ask if

Thymeout Sat 14-Oct-17 00:00:58

Sorry - posted too soon. I'd text Mon evening, to confirm date still on for Tues. You've only had one date. Much too early to expect frequent texts. Much better to save news for the date, so you have something to talk about.

TheNaze73 Sat 14-Oct-17 11:55:41

Texting between dates can be very annoying if there’s too much. When I was dating, it felt like I was being spammed & I used to think FFS, do you not have a life. I find it really off putting. Use it to arrange the next date only & don’t fall into the lame routine of asking how journies to work were etc. It’s tedious.
I’d not worry until say the middle of next week. HTH

fantasmasgoria1 Sat 14-Oct-17 12:44:41

Me and df after our first date text loads and now engaged and living together still text during the day!

fishbowl05 Sat 14-Oct-17 12:49:24

As a rule I would rather not bother with constant messaging but then there's all sorts of 'if they like you, they'll keep in touch' mentalities.

Thymeout Sat 14-Oct-17 12:58:59

Well, he liked you enough to arrange a second date. And he's older than you. Ime, the younger you are, the more it's likely that texting is part of your daily life. I'd let him set the pace at this point.

fishbowl05 Sun 15-Oct-17 21:15:47

Well I messaged him this evening, asking about Tuesday. He did reply and say he's currently at the wedding, but ignored my direct question about Tuesday and only responded to the rest of the message? So I'm feeling a bit deflated now.

Gimmeareason Sun 15-Oct-17 21:27:02

Errrrrrrrr Tuesday is 48h away....why did you text to check so far in advance?

fishbowl05 Sun 15-Oct-17 21:33:39

Err because I have a life to plan? I didn't think that was unreasonable...

TacoFlavouredKisses Sun 15-Oct-17 21:37:01

You arranged the date and where you were meeting... what more do you need to plan?

CoyoteCafe Mon 16-Oct-17 03:53:57

But you had a date already set up, checking in to see if he changed his mind implies that you half expect him to cancel.

Guy is at wedding, may be seeing people he doesn’t get to see very often. Leave him alone.

Patchouli666 Mon 16-Oct-17 08:44:07

One unrealised to text on Friday and you planned to text him on Sunday. You texted him on Saturday to directly ask about Tuesday. He's probably feeling a bit bombarded tbh. Like you are only interested in the date and getting a response not interested in him. You could have said ( if you simply couldn't wait till Sunday to text) 'how's the wedding? Good seeing friends? '. But no, I'd be feeling a bit pursued and obsessed over in the same situation.
You need to calm down. And the crap about 'I have a life to plan' well, you are not so busy as to be finding it hard to spend so much time worrying and overthinking lack of contact are you. Relax please! You are ONE date in!

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