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Possible mutual crush, what the hell do I do?

(15 Posts)
ScissorH4nds Thu 12-Oct-17 19:33:35

I feel like a bit of an idiot posting this here but I need egging on or advice of some sort.

I'm single for the first time in 4 years after a horrendous relationship. I'm a bit of a recluse and the last 3 relationships I've had have started online. I feel like i've forgotten how to meet people any other way!

On my way into town I walk past a barbers and for the past few weeks the barber has been smiling. I see him everyday now and the stares are lasting longer, the smiles are getting bigger and he waved today. For the first week I thought he must have been staring for the wrong reasons but I think its pretty obvious now we possibly have a mutual crush.

The problem...Its a barber shop, I have no excuse at all to go in and say anything and even if he came out and spoke to me I think I'd probably turn as red as a tomato and dissolve into a puddle of stuttering sweat. He is out of my league...big time!

I'm not used to these situations! What do I do here? I have ridiculously low self esteem after my ex and his affair and I think I'm gonna mess up any interaction. Or maybe he wont initiate anything and we'll be stuck in smile and wave stalemate forever more!

MistyMinge Thu 12-Oct-17 19:38:30

I'm sure you'll get some responses telling you to woman up and march on in there and ask him out. I'd be exactly the same as you OP.

If you do Facebook, how about finding if there's a Facebook page for the barbers, and if there is then see if he's tagged or named on the page anywhere. Facebook stalk him and send him a message.

theredjellybean Thu 12-Oct-17 19:39:50

You could try an old fashioned letter or note.. Saying something like 'I have not had. Much luck in relationships but your lovely smile is renewing my hope that maybe there are good men out there.'... Add your name and number... Stick it through the door and wait and see. We only regret the things we don't try...

SendintheArdwolves Thu 12-Oct-17 19:40:17

Do you have a male friend who could do a bit of intelligence-gathering for you? Friend could go in, have a haircut and get chatting to the barber. Just enough to find out some basic facts - is he single, what's his name, get a read on him, etc. If the readings are good, your friend deliberately leaves something at the barbers - umbrella, scarf, whatever.

The next day, friend calls up: "Did I leave my item behind? I did? Oh that's a relief. My friend Scissorhands lives nearby, is it OK if I ask her to drop by and pick it up?"

Boom. Justifiable reason to go into barber's shop.

Hedgehoghogger Thu 12-Oct-17 19:42:02

Sendin - im seriously impressed 😄😄

SendintheArdwolves Thu 12-Oct-17 19:43:14

The note is a sweet idea, jellybean but I'm not sure anyone should start a romantic note "I have not had much luck in relationships". You want to sound high status and desirable, not like you are used to poor treatment/have a bad radar grin

theredjellybean Thu 12-Oct-17 19:46:11

Mmmm.... I thought that too... But thought making the point that his smile lights up her day was what I wanted to get across. Maybe going with just 'your smile brightens my day'

demirose87 Thu 12-Oct-17 19:49:25

I'd leave it up to him to make a move. If he really likes you he will. From experience the best relationships are where the guy has made the effort to go after me and make me feel special, not vice versa.

SendintheArdwolves Thu 12-Oct-17 19:53:11

I'd leave it up to him to make a move

The problem is, what move can he make? The only thing he could do would be to abandon his client mid-haircut and sprint out of the shop when he spots her.

ScissorH4nds Thu 12-Oct-17 19:56:07

I tried the Facebook stalking technique blush Nothing to be found!

A note would be nice although I'm worried he'd not actually get in touch and then I'm stuck awkwardly walking past twice a day.

Sending a male friend in might be perfect! Although the only man I know locally is my ex and I don't think he'd be too impressed if I suggested it grin

SendintheArdwolves Thu 12-Oct-17 20:08:44

The man does have to be local. In fact, best if he isn't - that way the "my friend lives nearby, can she pop in" is more plausible, since barber-boy is less likely to recognise your friend.

PamDooveOrangeJoof Thu 12-Oct-17 20:09:35

I'd leave it but keep smiling. If he wants to make a move then he will.
I know it's meant to work both ways but I feel in hindsight no good has ever come from me asking someone out.

cresit Thu 12-Oct-17 20:13:45

I would smile back and perhaps wave in return, and that's it.

He could be the barber equivalent of a cheeky builder, the sort that whistles at every attractive woman that passes by. <and thinks they're flattered>

Horsemad Thu 12-Oct-17 20:14:29

Pretend you have a relative who would like to be a barber and go and ask him how they'd go about it.


If you have DC/are involved in PTA, go in and ask for raffle prize for upcoming Xmas Fair.

Or, just go in, stick your tongue down his throat and hand him a card with your phone number on!! wink grin

SilverySurfer Thu 12-Oct-17 20:27:23

If you get desperate, go in and say you've decided it's time to update your hairstyle with something a bit more daring - does he think you would suit a short back and sides? That should start the conversation going grin

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