Hello
This is my first post here, but I've been reading them for a while. I initially came across Mumsnet as was looking for advice about something else, and stayed ever since, as it's helpful (and amusing sometimes!).
Anyway, I've been seeing a lovely guy for around 9 months now. I'm 39 (no kids), he's 43 (3 kids).
I've always thought I didn't want kids, and at the moment am not too bothered either way. Never had a strong desire or anything, so I've been quite content pootling along. This guy is my first proper relationship in a while too.
It came up last night in a phone call, that my bf doesn't want any more kids. He says it's not the fact he doesn't want them, he just thinks he's getting too old. Fair enough I thought! He asked me if I wanted them...I said I didn't know, because I don't! I don't honestly know why we've never talked about it before. Maybe I thought because he loves kids, he'd be quite open about it..I don't know! Maybe he didn't really know for sure (on his dating profile, it said 'open/undecided).
So, I feel massively sad! Because I basically said, it has to end, as i can't risk wanting a child further down the line, and we sort of ended the conversation there.
I got a text this morning saying he didn't want us to finish! Neither do I. We get on so well, and I love him! I don't know what advice I'm after. I'm so confused. Maybe I'll want one, maybe I won't! I also realise time is not on my side.
Please just offer some nice words (I'm feeling very down and haven't told anyone), or what you would do if you were in this situation.
Thank you. S
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Tricky subject of wanting/not wanting kids!
user1471465348 · 12/10/2017 14:23
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