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'I hardly slept at all', bollocks you didn't...

(44 Posts)
Zaphodsotherhead Wed 11-Oct-17 19:46:51

Does anyone have an OH with this condition? It's an actual medical condition (I think, but can't remember the name of). My OH will lie down and fall into a dead sleep within literal seconds (while I'm still tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable) and be snoring and twitching in his sleep all night, keeping me awake. He'll then wake up and tell me that he hardly slept a wink all night and was tossing and turning, awake all the time (which I absolutely know not to be true, on account of having been kept awake by him all night).

He somehow perceives his ten second awakenings to last for hours. Can anyone remember what this is called and does anyone else have a partner who does this?

Giraffeski Wed 11-Oct-17 19:48:16

Yes! And also artificially inflates the number of times he's been disturbed by the kids.

Rudedog Wed 11-Oct-17 19:48:40

Oh yes - and then would tell me how it was great DC had slept all night - and if fact had been up for hours confused

Zaphodsotherhead Wed 11-Oct-17 19:54:09

Oh good, not just mine then. He also affects to be totally baffled if something happened during the night (wind so bad that it knocked down a tree opposite, for example, with concomittant noise) that he didn't hear. Because, obviously, he was awake all night...

Piratesandpants Wed 11-Oct-17 19:58:36

Pseudoinsomnia

Jessie1980 Wed 11-Oct-17 20:51:08

Arseholitis!

It really annoys me. Dh also seems to blame the fact that he was dreaming, on being tired?! It's like because he was dreaming of work for instance, he didn't get a rest?? confused

BG2015 Wed 11-Oct-17 20:53:22

Oh my goodness this is my DP too! He says he’s been awake and he hasn’t because I’ve lain awake next to him listening to him sleeping.

I think he genuinely believes that everyone has fantastic sleep every night except him.

HappyGirlNow Wed 11-Oct-17 21:18:02

Well I think you all shouldn't be so sure you're right!

This is like my relationship in reverse! Not every night, but relatively frequently i wake between 3am and 4am, and that's me awake the rest of the night. I see every few minutes on the clock and lie awake thinking about our business/our VAT or tax bill/any family issues/anything at all. It's the longest few hours just trying to stop my brains and get back to sleep.

I say to my DH in the morning re my lack of sleep and that I am shattered and he says every time he's woken I've been sleeping!! Just because my eyes have been shut and I've not been talking doesn't mean I've been sleeping.

I SHOULD FUCKING KNOW IF I'VE BEEN AWAKE OR ASLEEP. Seriously seriously fucks me off.

Niamhisnotarealname Wed 11-Oct-17 21:26:43

jessie this is a thing. I know when in been having a particularly stressful time at work or home I stress dream about for e.g. completing my report to deadline and when I wake I feel like iv not had any rest at all.

BertieBotts Wed 11-Oct-17 21:30:29

No but joking aside, OP, if he wakes up feeling unrested he should go to his GP and ask for tests to be run. It can be sleep apnoea or something like that.

However I'm pretty sure this happens to me. I'll feel like I've been awake constantly for the night but then I'll mention it to DH and he'll go hmm No, you were snoring and/or dead to the world and kept taking up my side of the bed and I couldn't shift you.

Ilovevegas Wed 11-Oct-17 21:41:11

Oh yes I've got one here too! Apparently sleeps crap although his snoring suggest otherwise hmm & he dies the whole 'oh DS slept well last night' no he fucking didn't, you just didn't hear him as per usual

My DH also falls asleep in seconds (literally!!) then snores like a train so I can't fall asleep & when I wake him to tell him he's snoring, he says 'how can I be snoring if I'm not asleep!' Go figure confused

heckythump01 Wed 11-Oct-17 21:42:50

sleepapnea .........

Zaphodsotherhead Wed 11-Oct-17 21:52:12

Fairly sure it's not sleep apnoea as he feels rested when he wakes up (but falls asleep on the sofa/has 'chair naps' like an old man, so maybe he should have that investigated).

And no, HappyGirl, he really is asleep when he thinks he's awake. I've spoken to him and got nothing but a grunt and a duvet-snatching turn over, I've sometimes been awake worrying about stuff and tried to initiate a conversation and he'll give two one-word answers and then back to snoring/sleeping yet swear he was awake for the entire time... he really isn't. But he thinks he is.

BertieBotts Wed 11-Oct-17 21:55:15

Ah okay, then I don't think it's a medical condition, just a normal condition of sleep I reckon. Most people have those cycles of waking enough to notice something and then going back to sleep at night. It's just we don't normally remember them.

KongStrong Wed 11-Oct-17 22:02:05

My Mrs literally get double the amount of sleep I get some nights but then always complains she's tired and has to have a nap when she gets home from work!.

LemonRedwood Wed 11-Oct-17 22:08:11

My DH does this. Snores all night then says he hasn’t slept at all.

He also complains that I apparently stretch out onto his side and take up most of the bed when, in reality, he stretches out onto mine. My usual sleeping position is now one leg resting on the bit of the divan that sticks out. This morning, he woke up with his head on my pillow and still had the nerve to say he doesn’t have enough space!

He can have all the space he wants in the spare bloody room.

Zaphodsotherhead Wed 11-Oct-17 22:21:12

Maybe it's me but I don't get the whole 'nap' thing (maybe because I can't sleep anywhere other than my bed, at night). It annoys me, I think. When I come in the room and he's just sitting there, head on chest, asleep, and I think 'just go to bed earlier, you idiot'. But then, however tired I am, I can't nap.

Maybe I'm just jealous...

PNGirl Wed 11-Oct-17 22:24:14

Pseudoinsomnia is a thing. Your deep sleep is interrupted by the brainwaves associated with anxiety and being wide awake. In fairness to him it is awful!

Zaphodsotherhead Wed 11-Oct-17 22:26:50

Thanks, PNGirl, that makes me feel a bit more sympathetic. But I don't know what he's anxious about, he's very very 'flat' emotionally, doesn't really do anxiety. Or excitement. Or much emotion at all, really.

I know this sounds as though I'm not very fond of him, I am really. He's just hard going sometimes.

AppleKatie Wed 11-Oct-17 22:28:33

shock the lightbulb has gone on. I'm off to google this.

My DH has anxiety and claims to not sleep. Sleeping tablets 'didn't make a difference' and literally every time I wake with DS he's bloody snoring.

gamerchick Wed 11-Oct-17 22:31:59

The husband, the snoring, the falling asleep in a chair at the drop of a hat, the moving about in his sleep....

He sleeps with a cpap machine now.

Chilver Wed 11-Oct-17 22:33:02

Why don't you get him a fitness/ sleep tracker? Mine shows me when I'm in deep sleep, light sleep and awake throughout the night - its quite interesting to see actually.

Nothing like a little bit of proof to dispute his claims!!

AppleKatie Wed 11-Oct-17 22:34:16

shock and he thinks his bloody fit bit overestimates his sleep, he talks about how useless it is.

head desk

Nikitasol Wed 11-Oct-17 22:35:13

He might have sleep apnoea.. sounds like it from your message. My ex had that..it was a total nightmare.

Nikitasol Wed 11-Oct-17 22:35:15

He might have sleep apnoea.. sounds like it from your message. My ex had that..it was a total nightmare.

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