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The most ridiculous reason ever to end a friendship?(25 Posts)
Not me, but a 'friend' has ended friendships over this in the last week, and 'threatened' to with me. It's so petty I feel daft even writing this really. Part of me thinks, just save her the bother, and 'disappear', but then surely it makes me just as petty and I'd rather rise above it. Plus I know I'd miss her (but not the drama).!
It's over abbreviations and acronyms (yeh, I know..). It's her total bug bear and got to the point of obsession really. (I kind of get it, I hate acronyms, but not to the point where it can rule my life! There are far bigger things to get worked up about!)
She's not even a real life friend, I only know through FB, but we bonded over our infertility, she's the first person I go to if I'm having a bad day, and vice versa. We have tons in common and chat every day..we had arranged to meet in the future. There's lots of good points about her and I find her to be (usually) a very intelligent and insightful person.
Anyway to explain, she gets angry if anyone puts abbreviations and acronyms because she can't remember them (or doesn't know them). She says she finds it very frustrating and upsets her. I noticed it became obsessive with her as we are on the same selling sites and she would comment on ANY post that contained them, 'What does this mean? I don't do abbreviations' and it was items she had no interest whatsover in. It's almost like she's trolling posts now. She then has a rant at that person there and on her own FB.
I tried tactfully saying to her, in the grand scheme of things it does not matter. Either ignore posts, or if it's interesting, just google what the abbreviation is, no big deal. (It's not like anyone's asking her to remember them!) I have the same issue with numbers, I'm quite number blind, which is why I now use a tomtom every time I drive, I find ways round it.
It came to a head last week when she was asking her FB friends to stop using abbreviations and acronyms . She then posts in bold letters on a bright background, 'I can't do abbreviations'. Obviously cannot = can't so I thought she was finally lightening up and making a joke of things. So I put, 'Well, you did right there! x' And a few others said the same. It was all meant in good spirits as we thought she was being playful. Except, she was furious. She said she was not having a joke, did not view it as one and we are bullies (literally all we'd pointed out was she'd abbreviated herself..) That she didn't view that as an abbreviation and we were being pedants and we had ruined her day, she was in a foul mood and very upset and we were mocking her disability at not being able to remember abbreviations in her head (and didn't know the difference between them and acryoyms). A later post said she was disabling her FB account (this happens regularly, she does it for a few days and always comes back). A few people grovelled saying we adore you, don't go. Another person had enough and said well you are always threatening to quit FB for good , so just do it, stop constantly posting for attention that you will.
I decided to rise above it and not even mention it further (once I'd said I'd merely thought she'd put a witty post earlier) but she's still ranting.
I'm a grown woman, I have enough on my plate and this is utterly ridiculous. But I don't want to just de friend and be as trivial as her.
I guess I could unfollow but then she has my email and I'd be bound to get bombarded (has happened before) with emails asking why I haven't commented on her latest news etc. (or , just her going on about grammar, abbreviations etc.. I mean really! I don't care!)
Sigh, this is too exhausting. I guess that's my answer right there.
So, what's the craziest reason you've ever ended a friendship? Or been dropped over?
And yes, I know, tempting to just email back saying nothing but 'F.O' !
She sounds horrible. And comparing her laziness and stupidity in her inability to remember simple acronyms to a disability is nothing short of utterly offensive.
I'd post a picture of frequently used acronyms to her wall and then block her on everything so you don't get any emails. It definitely sounds that even though you like her this behaviour is too extreme and attention seeking for you to stay friends.
I'd be inclined to ask 'is something else bothering you? It's not like you to get so angry, are you ok?'
It gives her a way to save face if she wants to back down.
Sorry but I'm boggled that you can regard someone you've never met as a close friend... Really? Just delete and get some RL (see what I did there?) friends.
She sounds like an absolute fucking horror.
Is she actually ok? Because to me this doesn't actually sound like the root of the problem, even if she might think it is.
There's not a lot you can do in the face of unreasonable fury obviously but I'd be so tempted to try and see if I could find out more and support a friend if they needed it, I mean if she might chuck you over it anyway then how much do you have to lose? It sounds like you made the cut this time but what if you accidentally invoke her ire again?
Otherwise it would have to be my grandmother, she was a difficult woman so there are loads of stories, I think the most ridiculous was the ham argument. Her good friend and neighbour took the last slice of ham on the plate, after checking with the table that we'd all had some, I still don't know what about that my DG took exception to but a cold shoulder for the rest of the meal developed into a grudge that lasted the 15 years until she died..."she knows what she did" apparently, none of us had any idea but that was all the explanation we got. Friend was warmly included in our family events for the next 20 years so she didn't miss out, I think she was grateful for the peace to be honest!
Or maybe it was the poor woman on the corner who had a cat that was deliberately obnoxiously ginger and consequently was bringing down the tone.
Or the bakery she boycotted after they had the audacity to sell out of a product that she had never previously bought about 30 minutes before closing.
She had good points but still. Difficult.
Is it possible that she has aspergers?
I can be a 'bit' obsessive like this but I generally manage to let it go (ie not subject my friends to rants and drama!) because I'm generally very happy and relaxed.
If your friend is struggling in her life in other ways then this might have become an obsession that she isn't able to get perspective on.
I kind of understand where she is coming from as I don´t always understand abbreviations and acronyms and it gets very frustrating. Also people who write in their dialect rather than in standard form. I end up just scrolling past them because understanding their post is just not worth the effort.
On the other hand, I just sigh and feel slightly annoyed, I don´t rant at people and threaten to cut them off. She is really overreacting.
Titchy, I do have lots of real life friends but none are local, I live middle of nowhere. I admit I got a bit too reliant on Facebook this year as I was very isolated, housebound due to injury and wasn't allowed to drive for some months so it was my crutch really.. I'm really cutting down on it now I'm busy and working again.
I would have done what your friend did and called her out on it. She's being an attention seeking arse. I am not a fan of drama. You can just block her you know? You don't have to respond or get involved in any way.
00100001 liking your work!
Proper LOL, titchy.
Honestly OP, I can understand why she might feel like a friend... but I have a feeling you wouldn't be able to tolerate her in real life.
Yes I have a feeling you are right, Shifty.
She's just doing it again right now, having a go and asking what certain abbreviations mean, when she could just google. All to make a point. And yes she does have a point, but she's become obsessive and just writing this is making me sound like a loon too.
I will unfollow for now until I decide to cut off for good
Even if she has ASD, that's no excuse for acting like a shit to her friends. It might be reasonable for her to ask people not to use them in messages etc directed to her, but to demand that others never use them (even complaining if strangers do) is completely unreasonable.
So, what's the craziest reason you've ever ended a friendship?
I lent her my leather jacket, she squatted down to take a piss (rural) and got it all over the hem.
I have a few friends who can be difficult and tiresome. I just know to swerve when an attack of the mads is brewing. Imo they're worth it, despite their seriously bothersome quirks.
Tho I am quite vocal about their behaviour re stop being a royal pain, you're being tiresome. Or just pack up and leave, goodnaturedly.
Most silly reason for ending a friendship? She wouldnt give me egg with my chips.
I promise you, you'd have ended the friendship in the circs.
This (the acronyms) is exactly the kind of thing my friend with aspergers really struggles with. She has left Facebook because she was just getting upset too much by people posting things she didn't understand. Maybe you're friend has autism or dyslexia?
It would take up far too much of my energy tending to such a demanding person, I'm afraid but then again I don't really bother with Facebook either.
If a 'friend' emailed me asking me why I hadn't commented on their status, I would probably block and that's without even taking into account the fixation on acronyms. Do acronyms even feature that heavily in normal conversations/daily life?
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