Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Deleting family member's ex from Facebook?

(13 Posts)
Spideronabathpuff Wed 11-Oct-17 08:52:21

Hi, my DP cousin has a very dramatic on/off relationship with his ex, who’s a nice lady and whom I like. The ex and I aren’t close friends but friendly acquaintances, for context.
DP cousin is also nice, but very emotionally immature imo.
We are all friends on Facebook. DP cousin and ex split recently but remained friends. Clearly they’ve a falling out as got a message from DP cousin last night asking if I could unfriend his ex.
It got my back up a bit to be honest as I don’t like being told who I can and can’t be friends with, but I do understand why he’d ask.
I could simply unfriend her, but that’s going to be pretty awkward when they likely get back together for the 3rd or 4th time (can’t keep up!) isn’t it.
I want to do the right thing but I also don’t want to be caught up in their drama.
What would you do in my situation? I haven’t replied to his msg yet,
Thanks.

M4Dad Wed 11-Oct-17 08:56:45

I don’t mean to be harsh but it’s Facebook. People need to grow up and grow out of this kind of social media, it’s just damaging and pointless.

ShatnersWig Wed 11-Oct-17 08:56:56

Your DP's cousin? Jesus, tell them to fuck off. I wouldn't do that if it was my own cousin! A sibling, yes.

Mirrormirrorotw Wed 11-Oct-17 08:57:25

Just let your cousin know that you're sorry he's having relationship problems but you would prefer to stay out of it. You're a free agent and can be friends with whomever you want to be friends with. He's triangulating.

gonnabreakmyrustycage Wed 11-Oct-17 08:58:22

I wouldn't unfriend. What I would do is make my friends list private. In fact, I would delete Facebook, which I did a couple of years back and never really regretted it.

gamerchick Wed 11-Oct-17 08:59:06

Noooo don’t let him use you in his relationship bollocks.

Just ignore him and do nothing. He doesn’t get to tell you who you can be friends with.

gamerchick Wed 11-Oct-17 09:01:09

Yeah you could make your friends list private. People can only see mutual friends and those listed as family then on your list. It’ll look like you’re adding and deleting the same rate as him then. ;)

MagicFajita Wed 11-Oct-17 09:01:15

Just ignore. They'll probably be loved up again by next week and you'll be cast as the arsehole that deleted her!

Spideronabathpuff Wed 11-Oct-17 09:04:52

Thank you
Yes I agree with you all 100%.
I will reply to his message along the lines of what MirrorMirror said.
Yeah it’s all a bit silly isn’t it? The price you pay for trying to be friendly eh! wink

kuniloofdooksa Wed 11-Oct-17 09:10:05

No one can tell you who you can and can't be friends with. End of.

From the other direction, when DH's brother got divorced, and I was fb friends with his ex wife, MiL wanted me to stay friends with her to keep wider relationships positive. I couldn't stand the constant crowing on fb about how happy she was to be free and single and able to spend her money on holidays and clothes again because of having left BiL penniless with sole care of their kid - I defriended her without hesitation.

But yanbu OP. Be friends with whoever you want.

Changedname3456 Wed 11-Oct-17 10:31:57

I assume he’s worried that she’ll have access to his profile and feed because she’s friends with you - but he just needs to tighten his own privacy settings (and, frankly, get a life).

Spideronabathpuff Wed 11-Oct-17 19:48:16

Thanks all for your advice
I messaged him earlier, gist of it was - I’m sorry you’ve fallen out with her, but I’d rather not get involved, and really it’s up to me who I’m friends with, hope you understand.
No reply but that’s fine - I don’t have time for his drama!

sonjadog Wed 11-Oct-17 19:55:26

Good reply. I think you sidestepped being drawn into the drama there.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: