Hi all, this might be long so apologies but I don’t want to drip feed.
STBXH has contact with the children once a fortnight for a whole weekend. This time though he asked if he could have them for the week as it’s school holidays here, which was no problem. I don’t have issue with him seeing the kids whenever he likes, within reason due to school and things. We live 50 miles away from him and the kids schools are in a different local authority.
Anyway, last week, the kids were off and I was working for a few days. I left my very capable 14, nearly 15yr old son and 13 year old daughter in charge of their younger siblings who are 9 and 6.
The older two have been left alone before and have had some times where they have looked after the younger two prior to this. When I’ve had to go to the shops or doctors appointments and such. So this wasn’t something sprung on them but it was for longer than before.
They know what to do in an emergency, have neighbours they can go to and had my number if they needed. I would have came home immediately if I had to. I also left some chores for them, hoovering, load the dishwasher and my oldest had the grass to cut.
Last night STBXH called me and went mad down the phone, in front of my older two, who I have since found out are a bit shook up at how their father spoke to me, shouting the odds about how it was wrong of me to leave them, the older two should only be on their own for minutes, not hours and the younger two shouldn’t be looked after by their older siblings. I am a bad mother, the kids don’t have a life, they should be playing and that I was neglectful in leaving them and I should have them taken from me.
He has now said that the kids are staying with him next week and the week after (schools go back Monday) and I’m terrified he won’t bring them back. He said he is going to fight for custody and I am so scared. I want my children back. I was speaking to my oldest and he wants to come home but is scared to tell his father. I have told STBXH that the kids come back Friday as planned but I don’t think he is moving on his decision.
Need some hand holding please. I don’t think I was wrong in what I did but I am now doubting myself. My kids are good kids, sensible and level headed. I’ve been trying to teach the how to become functioning adults (the older two anyway) and in some respects I treat then as young adults, teaching them to cook, use an iron, use the washing machine etc. He doesn’t see any of this and wants them to be wrapped in cotton wool forever.
What the fuck am I going to do?
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Relationships
He won't give back the children
Witchofthenorth · 11/10/2017 07:29
He is working, his partner doesn’t work so she would be looking after them, they also have three other children in their house.
I know it is their holidays, and it wasn’t all week. It was a couple of days. One day being longer than the other. The do relax on their holidays and this isn’t something I do on a regular basis. I work very part time, normally only one day a week for the very reason that I don’t have any other childcare. However, I also need to make money and I worked extra this time.
I have asked previously over the years for him to help me out with childcare and he has always said he couldn’t do I don’t ask anymore. However he tells me that had I asked this time he would have not gone to his work 
. Something he has always said a categoric no to before.
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