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Am I being dismissive of ex's feelings?

(10 Posts)
BulletFox Tue 10-Oct-17 19:01:06

I haven't seen him for 3 years but he offered recently to help with moving. Seemed genuine (we stayed in contact as friends over the years).

It was supposed to be one day, I would have paid for lunch and petrol. Then he asked if he could stay a few days. I said no. Then he wanted to come up the night before moving which I was o.k. with until he started sending me texts with just an 'x' which came across to me as being provocative.

I called him out on this and he tried to backtrack but I'm not being wrong am I? I just cancelled the move help.

Anecdoche Tue 10-Oct-17 19:06:09

i think if you are feeling uncomfortable then it was best to just cancel.

BulletFox Tue 10-Oct-17 19:13:38

I've already cancelled; actually I was slightly freaked out anyway by him thinking it would be ok to stay for a while (it's not my house, I moved in with a friend and she became severely ill so had to go into specialist treatment and I'm left selling up everything).

So no it's not ok for him to think he can move in and he freaked me out a bit with all the X text messages. It wasn't supposed to BE that, just a one day help

Anecdoche Tue 10-Oct-17 19:17:08

i know. i said was best to cancel.

maybe he thought he could look forward to a bit of a 'reward' for helping.

but whatever his intentions you made the decision that's right for you. which is all you can do.

BulletFox Tue 10-Oct-17 19:25:27

It still makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable that he might have thought he could drive here and be entitled to something.

I have said no now and in response he texted me he was going to Portugal for a month (seems a bit drastic). I do have aspergers so might have difficulty processing it but I can't understand why he might not realise that was offensive or why it wasn't appropriate

SonicBoomBoom Tue 10-Oct-17 19:32:57

You did the right thing. Sounds like he had an agenda.

Anecdoche Tue 10-Oct-17 19:45:45

he was probably trying his luck.
try not to get bogged down with it.
he asked for something you werent comfy with so you called it off. its all fine.

Gemini69 Tue 10-Oct-17 19:46:41

he definitely had an agenda.. you did good flowers

L0quacious Tue 10-Oct-17 19:48:13

Yes, if it made you feel uncomfortable then you did the right thing.

bsbabas Tue 10-Oct-17 19:59:01

If you have Asperger's definitely don't let him near you some unsavoury people use that to their advantage.

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