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Ironically it's world mental health day and I can't cope with my partner's mental health issues any more

(5 Posts)
shouldhavebeenme Tue 10-Oct-17 18:52:39

That's it really. This "mood" descends over him like a black cloud and ge just retreats into himself. This will be the 4th time it's happened this year. He is never abusive in any way. Just completely detached. He barely talks to me. Then after 3-4 weeks ( sometimes it can be one or 2 weeks) he'll start to talk.

He suffers from anxiety and depression. Was on citalopram in the past. Sees a counsellor fortnightly. If I had money U'd be out the door. I still love him very much.

MollyHopps Wed 11-Oct-17 17:56:16

It sounds like you could use some support yourself OP. Do you have anyone you can talk to about it?

It is difficult living with someone with these issues. How long have you been together? Does he still take medication? Does he work and is it causing him stress?

flowers

Insomeotheruniverse Wed 11-Oct-17 18:27:11

I feel for you OP. I walked away from a similar situation 2 years ago. It broke my heart to leave and still fills me with sadness that it ended but it was the right thing for me. I'd given everything I could but couldn't live with a dp that barely spoke to me anymore. It went on for months and I just broke.

Some people can stick it out and be there for their dp's/spouses. I realised I needed my relationship to be a two way thing. I couldn't keep giving everything and receive nothing back. It hurt like hell.

You need support of some kind or an escape now and again or his depression will inevitably finish your relationship.

hubbybubby Wed 11-Oct-17 18:34:37

Totally get it

This drives me mad too

So much about the ill people. Some mental health conditions are absolute nightmare for relatives to attempt to handle eg borderline personality and bipolar

My mum sister and nan has bipolar (mum I think is misdiagnosed and is borderline mainly). Sister is bipolar attempted suicide twice before I was 16 and I had to plan her life after (mum useless and dad uninterested)

I've spent years trying to manage mentally ill people and there's no acknowledgement of that anywhere in talk on mental health. The message almost feeds into the pity/ victim mindset

Reddit has a good forum on 'raised by borderlines' and 'significant others of bipolar / borderlinea' .

First time I've ever seen lots of spouses / relatives of mentally ill people having identical experiences

I am now NC with mother (spent 3 years taking me to courts for money, and parental responsibility basically of my children). NC with my sister as no empathy and totally selfish.

Sorry to detail but I 100% get it

Wish the 'mental illnessnarrative would discuss codependency for relatives & how relatives should get support for themselves especially children

ChristinaParsons Wed 11-Oct-17 20:57:58

They bleed you dry and when you can't take anymore they move on to their next victim. Don't waste your life. I gave everything for 18 years. 3 weeks after I made him leave he was in a new relationship

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