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How do I tell relatives to stop turning up unannounced?

(16 Posts)
IvankaTrudeau Tue 10-Oct-17 16:03:57

And be polite about it instead of just going "FFS is it so difficult to call ahead?"

KarateKitten Tue 10-Oct-17 16:06:38

If you hear them at the door, leg it upstairs and throw a towel on and oretend you were just getting into the shower and say 'gosh, sorry, I was just getting into the shower. Give me a text next time so I know to expect you'. Then send them to the kettle to sort themselves while you go shower to make them really feel bad and definitely text next time.

TeeBee Tue 10-Oct-17 16:18:21

Well, I just said to mine ‘I’m one of those people who hate expected guests. Could you just drop me a text if you’re coming over? Thanks’. Simple.

Aquamarine1029 Tue 10-Oct-17 16:22:39

Telling them you want them to call before just showing up is polite. They are the ones being rude. Asserting yourself is not rude.

Ttbb Tue 10-Oct-17 16:26:14

Just pretend that you are not at home.

Thinkingofausername1 Tue 10-Oct-17 16:28:39

My in laws have started doing this. It pisses me off. They know it does and still do it. Last week we were having our dinner and they turned up. There is always manipulation added to it. Oh we bought you a gift from this trip or that trip. We don't care, it's not a reason to turn up!

Mama234 Tue 10-Oct-17 16:30:29

Move further away so its harder for them to drop in grin

timeforbedsleepyhead80 Tue 10-Oct-17 16:33:19

I feel you OP! I've always made sure I say in front of people that I don't like unannounced visitors generally and that I find just turning up really rude. Just in conversation.

Whenever I say it (I've had to say it more frequently to some than others!) my DM says 'well yes but there are exceptions like me, obviously'. No, there are no exceptions! hmm Unless it's an emergency, don't come to mine unless you call or text first.

Also, now that everyone knows how I feel about it, I ignore the door. If it was an emergency whoever it was would soon ring me.

rslsys Tue 10-Oct-17 16:54:44

Get a hat!
I had a great Aunt who always put a hat on before answering the door.
If it was someone she wanted to see, she had only just got in and hadn't had time to take her hat off yet.
If it was someone she didn't want to see, she was just on her way out!

stopbeingadramallama Tue 10-Oct-17 16:56:40

Just be honest.

myusernamewastaken Tue 10-Oct-17 17:02:13

I dont like it either...its rude and its always when your house looks like an absolute shithole.

Breadwithgarlicon Tue 10-Oct-17 19:59:15

If it's too hard to say it, you should be able to re-train them by being out, putting your coat on (as though you're about to go out) or answering in a towel from an upstairs window. From there, it's easy to say, 'It's probably best to always call beforehand' or something like that.

winterwinter Tue 10-Oct-17 20:04:26

This is why I don’t answer the door, ever, no exceptions. Unless I am expecting someone round there is no reason to answer the door.

I also turn my phone to do not disturb and unplug the home phone after 9pm, as have had relatives phone in the middle of the night to tell me some mundane “news” that really could wait until the morning. People are so bloody selfish I can’t stand it. I wouldn’t dream of pulling any of this shit.

winterwinter Tue 10-Oct-17 20:05:25

Rslys that is a brilliant suggestion!!!

deepestdarkestperu Tue 10-Oct-17 20:08:03

I just don't answer the door if I'm not expecting someone. I think it's really rude to knock on someone's door and expect them to chat or entertain you.

I've never met anyone who does it and is happy to be told to go away or that you're not free. They expect that if you're home, you're willing to entertain them!

SomeKindOfGenius Tue 10-Oct-17 22:06:38

I found a great way around this problem. OP you need to move over 100 miles away from them and get a house with a 10ft gate at the bottom of the driveway. Throw in a "dogs running loose" sign for good measure and bobs your uncle, they'll start booking visits well in advance! 😂

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