Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Catfishing

(31 Posts)
dazedandconfuse Mon 09-Oct-17 22:09:00

So I'm pregnant and have a boyfriend. I recently found out he's been sleeping with other girls I forgave him as he wasn't in a good place. I then made a catfish tinder, and he matched me. He and the catfish are planning on meeting tomorrow. It's literally tearing my in bits seeing the messages he sends to the catfish (me without knowing) when shall I reveal its me? What shall I do? One of the worst experiences of my life

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 09-Oct-17 22:11:11

What do you want to do?

Josuk Mon 09-Oct-17 22:15:10

OP - really? You need to ask?

Bubba1234 Mon 09-Oct-17 22:16:20

Go & confront him as the catfish

DrMorbius Mon 09-Oct-17 22:17:44

It's not very nice tricking your BF.

bastardkitty Mon 09-Oct-17 22:18:27

I wouldn't confront in this situation. I would just leave or pack his stuff while he is out waiting for his tinder date. Assuming there is no way back from this.

Whenwillwe3meetagain Mon 09-Oct-17 22:20:10

Lol at DrMorbius

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 09-Oct-17 22:21:22

Remember people. Don’t feed trolls.

sarahjconnor Mon 09-Oct-17 22:21:52

Bastard called it. Use the date time to pack up, leave and block him. Send a text as you leave or let him wonder.....

cresit Mon 09-Oct-17 22:22:18

DrMorbius, that's some sense of humour you have there mate.

Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt Mon 09-Oct-17 22:26:05

So you turn up at the rendezvous tomorrow. He's there to meet catfish/you. Then what? A public flounce? A public slanging match? A race home to lock the other one out? You're surely not going to have a reasonable discussion are you?

Tell him tonight that you're his date for tomorrow and let him know that he's used up all his lives and can use the free time he's now got tomorrow to find himself somewhere to stay and start packing.

dazedandconfuse Mon 09-Oct-17 22:40:51

I really fucking love him how am I going to cope on my own FFS my life is a state

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 09-Oct-17 22:43:21

How pregnant are you?

You can cope. Do you have any support?

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 09-Oct-17 22:43:32

How pregnant are you?

You can cope. Do you have any support?

dazedandconfuse Mon 09-Oct-17 22:54:22

13 weeks, I do have a lot of support but I'm young, already have a child and am currently working and do a degree. Wtf am I going to do

grobagsforever Mon 09-Oct-17 22:55:03

Chuck him out. Tonight. Do you want the baby without him?

dazedandconfuse Mon 09-Oct-17 23:00:10

I already love this baby but how the fuck am
I going to cope. How unfair would it be of me to bring a baby into the world when alone I am not stable enough to look after a child the way it would deserve.

Gemini69 Mon 09-Oct-17 23:13:06

consider all your options OP... take your time... flowers

NeverForgotten Mon 09-Oct-17 23:24:40

He is cheating on you. He doesn't love you the same as you love him. flowers

Josuk Mon 09-Oct-17 23:39:11

OP - think about the child you already have. And their future.
Then try to imagine how long this boyfriend will stick around after the baby arrives - and sleepless nights/nappies/feedings/mashes food/strollers/potty training will be your daily life.

He is on Tinder and you aren’t event that pregnant. He must have always been on it. And cheated with multiple girls before.

You are living in a fantasy. You think you have a boyfriend and you are having a baby with him.
He - lives with someone who gives him shelter, food, laundry washing, and other domestic services while he is living it up with other women.
He’ll move on onto another woman who’d provide it for him, minus a small baby to complicate things.

Sorry. There is no happy end possible here.

MrsTerryPratchett Mon 09-Oct-17 23:51:33

You have two decisions. One about the relationship which is pretty obvious. Then another about the pregnancy, which is much harder.

If you could go back in time, would you be pregnant now?

dazedandconfuse Tue 10-Oct-17 08:34:58

I think it's obvious I wouldn't be pregnant now if I knew all this stuff would happen but I AM pregnant now and although not that far along I still love and want this baby and I love the dad too even if he's a fucking awful person. Wish I could be one of them people who can just say fuck off out my life and never come back but I'm pretty pathetic. Don't know how im going to build up the strength to do it, to do anything sad

hellsbellsmelons Tue 10-Oct-17 11:32:14

but I'm pretty pathetic
Not if you take control of your life and tell this lying, cheating piece of shit to fuck off out of your life.
Please do contact Womens Aid and ask about their Freedom Programme.
As for the meeting..... Ask him what his plans are.
See what lie he spins you.
Then just leave him there thinking he's been stood up.
Bit of a crush for his over-inflated ego I would hope!

Gilead Tue 10-Oct-17 11:53:48

dazed, do you want to give both the child you already have and the baby you want this relationship model? Do you want them to grow up thinking it's okay to be fucked over or to fuck people over? You can manage on your own, I know, I did my first degree with a two year old. Get out and stop torturing yourself. flowers

EverythingEverywhere1234 Tue 10-Oct-17 11:58:20

Women's Aid. You need to get onto them today. Clearly your self esteem is on the floor if you forgave him shagging other women because he 'wasn't in a good place' boo fucking hoo . He will never make a good partner. Life isn't straightforward and life with a baby is much more stressful, how do you think he'll cope with all that? You'll be forever on edge, knowing it's only a matter of time befor it all gets too much for the little snowflake and he cheats on you... again. I think you're worth more OP, you need to believe it yourself.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now