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Access to children

(7 Posts)
Unhappyhere Mon 09-Oct-17 21:25:58

Hello!
I've been googling and some mixed things being advised. I am worried if I leave my husband will have contact with children alone, the baby cant stay over night or for extended periods but husband is spiteful and will insist. He is very wealthy (family), I also have some worries he'd not return them either. I don't think I can stay just because I don't trust him to have the children alone. Will I be forced to let him? i want to disappear and be free, for my babies to never have to be scared but I can't- can I?

I don't want to go into the why's but I am desperately unhappy, I have made a grave mistake staying in this relationship and I'm frightened for the future if I don't leave.

Thank you

Sistersofmercy101 Mon 09-Oct-17 21:36:54

UNHAPPY - are you the main carer for the children? I know this is a difficult question but is your childrens father abusive (emotionally, psychologically, physically, financially?) you mention real fears of the childrens welfare and them not being returned to you... All these things are important and would be taken into account by a solicitor. There are very real, very strong legal steps/orders that can be taken to protect you and your children. There will be posters along soon with more in depth explanations. But I wanted to say, you do not have to stay in a relationship that makes you this fearful! Good luck with your
Situation and wishing you well for your future 🍀

Unhappyhere Tue 10-Oct-17 07:20:21

Thank you very much. Yes I am main carer.
He has been violent in the past although hasn't for around 2 years- I don't believe he won't be again though. I walk on egg shells constantly, he is quick to temper and shouts, slams doors etc. It's horrible it really is. He drinks too much, won't accept he does at all. Then he denies everything, says I exaggerate (I really don't)

I don't think I can prove these things and I keep reading about children being made to stay with there Dads. I would rather stay and spend my whole life miserable then have my babies looked after by him.

WonderRose Tue 10-Oct-17 12:13:58

I don't have any advoce. But I'm the same situation sort of. My husband is very abusive in every aspect and i come from an extremely religious community, my parents are devout and hate me for leaving. Currently at police station giving my statement. Just finished having something to eat. I left a few weeks ago and made the stupid mistake of letting my parents take my kids out for the day and they gave them to him. He made me come back or I wouldn't see them. I paid a heavy price for leaving. I got away again yesterday with my kids. I'm terrified of him having contact with them in just praying it will be supervised. Because I know he will take them again. I'm sorry your in this situation. Sorry i don't have any advice but I wanted you to know your not the only person going through this sort of thing. I'll let you know if I get any advice on how to keeo the kids away from him. Maybe it might help you x

Unhappyhere Tue 10-Oct-17 14:55:02

Wonder so sorry you're in that situation. Thank you for your kind words.
Were the police nice?

Sistersofmercy101 Tue 10-Oct-17 16:43:55

In my experience the police are kind and professional.
Unhappy - document all incidents - right from day 1 then get professional help!
The children's welfare is the family courts mandate, so if you're able to show through a written timeline, that supervised and NOT UNSUPERVISED contact is in the best interests of the children then that is what would be ordered. But getting help for you and your children is crucial. The women's aid are a good place to start. Best wishes.

WonderRose Tue 10-Oct-17 17:27:25

They were lovley. Was hard going through everything but hopefully worth it. He's being arrested tonight. But will probably get bail. X

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