Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Is he into me or not?

(9 Posts)
Popcornandjam Mon 09-Oct-17 21:14:58

Met a new guy at work 6 weeks ago.

Got on so well, physically it's fantastic, same values, humour etc. Moved fast initially but has slowed down a little now.

He had to travel back home as his adult son had lost his job and seems to be having a breakdown. Absolutely no reason to doubt this. Staying with his parents, minimal contact with ex. We're friends on FB, nothing suspect.

When he was away - a week - contact wad understandably reduced and I let him dictate the pace.

Now he's back, his son still takes up a lot of his thoughts and he's not suggested meeting up again - previously met 3 times a week.

We text a lot, talk every evening for at least half an hour and he's shared some really personal details. The texts aren't quite as friendly as before - think one x instead of three - and the phone calls are more information sharing and general thoughts rather than flirty.

I don't know if he's gone off the boil or if he's distracted with family things. I don't want to push it, and push him away, but I also don't want to be friend zoned. If we split we would never have to see each other so it's not like we have to be friends.

Am I expecting too much for six weeks plus family crisis?

loveyoutothemoon Mon 09-Oct-17 21:19:19

Yep, slow down a bit!

Popcornandjam Mon 09-Oct-17 21:32:56

Thank you, I'm just worried that he's not made any hint of another date yet. It's got me wondering...

User7628 Mon 09-Oct-17 21:49:37

Could be either from reading that but obviously the family issue will be concerning him

Popcornandjam Mon 09-Oct-17 22:01:37

I know. I'm worried that if I ask I'll come across as needy if there's not actually anything wrong.

Popcornandjam Mon 09-Oct-17 22:42:02

Does anyone think I should ask if he's still into me?

Josuk Mon 09-Oct-17 23:57:34

Nooo! Don’t ask that.
Comes across insecure and you are a bit. But no reason to show it.

Also - you said ‘if we split’ - OP - you are not yet in a relationship.
You just met each other.
Slow down. Let it develop naturally.

Best thing is to carry on with your life, your friends and your interests.
Which, btw - doesn’t mean you have to be passively waiting for his moves.
No reason why you couldn’t ask him if he wanted to come out with your

Just don’t ask if he is ‘into you’

LoveforPGTipsMonkey Tue 10-Oct-17 01:30:58

no it's fine, if he's sharing personal stuff and it's been great physically, I'd put it down to stress - he can't be all normal when his son is having a breakdown. Maybe also he's under financial strain if he needs to support his son after the job loss.
Give it another week or two. It's good that he shares stuff with you - I'm sure he could have chosen an existing mate to do that if he just wanted a friend.

SleepingStandingUp Tue 10-Oct-17 01:33:53

Why can't you suggest a meet up? Not an "oh I moss you so much when can I see you?" but a "do you fan y meeting for a drink X day instead of calling" "I quote fancy seeing X, dip you want to come?"

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: