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Why do I give a fuck about this man?

(2 Posts)
WereNotbrokenJusbent Sun 08-Oct-17 18:46:57

I have a partner we have a daughter together. Have been together nearly 5 years. 

Before we met there was a man, let's call him S, who I used to chat to/occasionally meet up with... never slept with him. We did like each other. My partner knows him briefly and made me cut off any form of contact with him we had kissed in the past but I did used to look at it us as friends really.

Last year we split for 6 months and I unblocked S and we got chatting again, then me and my partner got back together so I had to block him again! 

The problem is, I think about him all of the time, imagining if I wasn't with my DP and finally being able to meet up with him again/being with him, why do I do it? 

I have a child now and I probably know he would never actually get into a relationship with me. I'm not 100% sure if I could even trust him in a relationship so why the hell am I obsessing so much over him? I don't think he will ever be the man I would want him to be but I am so attracted to him and we have such a laugh! Is it because I can't have him? 

We used to be really close and really if he wanted me he would contact me? 

I wish I could just erase him from my mind, how can I forget all about him? 😩🙉

Farontothemaddingcrowd Sun 08-Oct-17 18:49:06

Because you keep thinking about him. Every single time that you indulge that thought, you reinforce it. He is a fantasy you've built up.
More pertinently, what is missing in your current relationship that makes you feel that you need that fantasy?

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