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Ex thinks partner is cheating

(17 Posts)
Mummyneedssleep101 Sun 08-Oct-17 17:22:39

I've been my current partner just under a year, we've both got children from previous relationships.

My ex has always been incredibly difficult too deal with, but we are now on civil talking terms which has taken a considerable amount of time.

He initially tried to stalk my current partner, and spent a lot of time obsessing about the new relationship.

He recently said too me (ex) that early into my new relationship my partner was seen leaving a bar and going into a hotel room (he knows his car as part of his stalking he did in the early months). He has also told me he's frequently seen my partner with different women in his car, who weren't me.

My partner is very kind, considerate and I would say almost 'perfect'. A few months ago I came across pictures of another woman on his phone, which he then tried to delete and deny, and eventually the truth came out that he had saved the pictures.

He has also liked pictures on instagram of women he was previously talking too with the view too date. All of which he denies but I always found proof.

After he initial issue with the pictures he's being saved he is adamant he's done nothing too upset me.

Which leaves me with the question is he lying? Is my ex lying? How on earth do I deal with this. After my exs last comment which I told my partner he suddenly decided to delete Facebook.

My ex was a cheat and I spent years working out whether he was lying or not, but his body language etc would suggest he's telling the truth.

Help me

Longdistance Sun 08-Oct-17 17:23:50

Sounds like your ex is shit stirring.

MyBrilliantDisguise Sun 08-Oct-17 17:25:04

Oh that's difficult as presumably your ex would be glad to know your new partner wasn't trustworthy.

Was your new partner where your ex said he'd seen him?

Mummyneedssleep101 Sun 08-Oct-17 17:27:10

When I mentioned it too him he went absolutely mad, really over the top. He denied it all, even though I didn't ask in a confrontational way. More matter of fact. I don't know dates, ex is convinced he will he able too get proof as he often sees him driving around with other women.

Anymajordude Sun 08-Oct-17 17:27:21

It's probable your ex is shit stirring. If the only evidence you have comes from him then let it go until you see something that bothers you.

GlitterSparkles17 Sun 08-Oct-17 17:29:08

SOunds as though your ex is jealous and shit stirring but also sounds as though you can’t really trust your new partner 100% either.
When I first met my now husband my ex tried telling me my DH had been seen with a another girl in his car, described her and everything, what he didn’t know was that DH had spent the day with me so the date and time didn’t add up and he looked like a jealous shit stirrer.

Tell your ex to keep out of your business and chuck your new partner if you feel he’s not trustworthy or your just going to repeat history.

Mummyneedssleep101 Sun 08-Oct-17 17:35:27

Every single ex has cheated on me apart from one. I've always been on the grounds of innocent until proven guilty. I'm unsure whether to try and go through his phone or not, which won't be easy as he's very tech savvy. I've got this horrible feeling in my stomach but I think it is partly related too bad experiences previously

Mummyneedssleep101 Sun 08-Oct-17 17:35:59

If he hadn't of had pictures on his ph

Mummyneedssleep101 Sun 08-Oct-17 17:36:29

Sorry kids nudged the phone!

If he hadn't of had pics on his phone previously and tried to deny it I wouldn't be so worried

L0quacious Sun 08-Oct-17 17:39:31

Ignore him

CoyoteCafe Sun 08-Oct-17 17:43:21

When I mentioned it too him he went absolutely mad, really over the top.

If I was with someone and found out their ex was stalking me, I'd go absolutely mad as well. It seems like a reasonable response.

Your ex is a piece of work. Don't believe him about ANYTHING. Don't talk to him about anything other than the children. He is an ex for a reason.

Mummyneedssleep101 Sun 08-Oct-17 17:45:55

Thanks everyone. I do fully trust my partner, but I did alls of my exs and I always found out the dirt. I think it has affected me more than I initially thought. Maybe ex realises this so knows what games too play

HeavenlyEyes Sun 08-Oct-17 17:48:39

I think your ex is shit stirring but your new partner does not sound trustworthy either. Pictures of OW on his phone is not that great is it? And liking pics on Instagram. And denying both too even though you had proof. Your current bloke is a liar too isn't he?

Mummyneedssleep101 Sun 08-Oct-17 17:50:56

It's a mess really isn't it. Part of me doesn't want to go through his phone incase I see something I don't like, part of me realises I would never get into it even if I wanted too with his ridiculous passwords. It was always getting into phones which caught the others out.

SandyY2K Sun 08-Oct-17 18:53:08

Your Ex may be speaking the truth. Don't dismiss it because it comes from him.

Your current partner has already been caught lying to you about the pics.... I wouldn't trust him.

HeavenlyEyes Sun 08-Oct-17 18:59:35

So he has many passwords protecting his phone? I don't think I could trust either of them tbh.

Gemini69 Sun 08-Oct-17 19:56:24

I wouldn't trust either of them OP flowers

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