Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

End it - I'm certain that will be the advice

(9 Posts)
Iguessishouldbecomeapringle Sun 08-Oct-17 14:41:30

Married for 7 years, together for 10

Three DC under 8,

One works ft the other pt (2days)
One a lifelong gambling addict, spent lots of family money, now in treatment but remains a concern
House too small (2 bed) can't move because of above (for at least 1—2 years anyway)
One exercises for 2.5 hours everyday (honestly 2 days off in the last four years) one vegan, one not.
One doesn't believe in divorce but doesn't respect other any more
One doesn't fancy other
One poor at communication, other over communicates
One very sensitive, the other very strong willed
One would use counselling other wouldn't
Non gambler hurt by loss of money but more by lies deceit and being betrayed
Gambler trying very hard

Probably doesn't make sense but it's all just too toxic isn't it

HooraySunshine Sun 08-Oct-17 16:23:36

confused Eh?
It sounds as though you feel the relationship is over, so maybe that is your answer?

fc301 Sun 08-Oct-17 23:56:50

Well you've not mentioned love...

scoobydoo1971 Mon 09-Oct-17 00:02:27

At the point when you feel the need to analyse the relationship at this level...it is not just over, more dead, cremated and in a casket somewhere in the loft. Honestly, life is short and you are clearly miserable living with a person who is the polar opposite. So time to end it, but only if you think that...strangers on the internet cannot decide that...it takes you and a bucket full of courage to do that.

Fluffypinkpyjamas Mon 09-Oct-17 00:07:51

Yes OP. Time to spilt up I’m afraid. You’re not happy with him and no wonder flowers

SomeBananasAreStillGreen Mon 09-Oct-17 00:14:18

Sounds like the gambling is the main issue. Overcrowding is hard but not desperate.

Don't give up until you are sure there is no hope. I say this as someone who has survived an extremely abusive marriage.

You will never forgive yourself if there was a way to save this. Despite what I have been through, I am not saying LTB. Still, you must put safe walls around yourself and the children.

Living with a gambler sounds dangerous to me. .. I wish you much luck with this, and hope that you find wisdom x

Iguessishouldbecomeapringle Mon 09-Oct-17 20:46:20

Thank you all. I know my post was a tad confusing but my mind is a mess and I've been too scared to read the answers/ advice

He is such a decent man and the gambling seems to now be under control,

He has lost his way and I don't think I have the energy to help him find it again

Fluffypinkpyjamas Mon 09-Oct-17 23:17:02

You’ve clearly tried. I think there’s far too many differences between you OP. Move on and be happy flowers

tallwivglasses Mon 09-Oct-17 23:23:01

Yes. It's time.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now