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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Is this something to be concerned about?

(19 Posts)
Whathappensnowthen Fri 06-Oct-17 23:32:43

I hope I'm just being paranoid, but I'm so out of the loop when it comes to dating that I just don't know what to think.

So I have been in touch, online, with a nice chap who tried a few times to give me his number. Eventually I said yes, after we'd got to know each other a bit more. Now I know you can search for people on Facebook using their phone number, so that's what I did. He had a profile set up with his name, but no activity or photo or anything.

So anyway,we have a few shared interests and he sent me some screenshots of some days out which were clearly Facebook photos (you could see that he had 'liked' the photo). So I did a bit of digging using some of the other names that had 'liked' the same photo and hey presto,he has a complete other Facebook account set up, name, photos, friends etc. This one never came up when I did the phone number search, so does that mean he has two mobile phones? Why would anyone have two separate Facebook accounts?

There doesn't seem to be anything dodgy about the second account, in fact, it mainly shows photos of our shared interest and his child (can't see any wife/partner etc) but I just don't know what to think.

It's really early days so I don't want to come across all accusational - should I even ask why he has two accounts? Is this something and nothing? Or none of my business?

existentialmoment Fri 06-Oct-17 23:34:06

It really isn't any of your business. You're being a little stalkery.

AlternativeTentacle Fri 06-Oct-17 23:34:26

Two phones, one for each woman?

RJnomore1 Fri 06-Oct-17 23:39:38

Does he have his child on both accounts or is one for people he doesn't know very well and doesn't want to show photos of the child to?

MyLittleDragon Fri 06-Oct-17 23:44:27

Isnt it likely he has a new number but continues to use the Facebook account of the old number? confused

If he wanted it to be all secret he wouldn't have shared the pics with the likes on, or that fb account would be set to private so you couldn't see the pics.

I wouldn't mention it. (But I wouldn't forget it exactly - but it's wise to be careful at the start of any new relationship anyway).

Whathappensnowthen Fri 06-Oct-17 23:47:18

The account that I found using the number that he gave me has absolutely nothing on it, apart from his name. No photo of him, no friends, nothing.

The other account is full of photos, posts etc. As I say, nothing on that account seems 'odd', it's the fact he has two accounts and only the dormant one is searchable.

beesandknees Fri 06-Oct-17 23:48:25

You sound stalkerish

Have you even met this guy?

DancingLedge Fri 06-Oct-17 23:50:41

Stalk away. Feel perfectly entitled to. It's called protecting yourself.

Definitelydrowningthistime Fri 06-Oct-17 23:52:48

Bollocks to being stalkery, background research on a person you don't know is sensible. He probably has a phone for dating in case someone gets weird on him. I know a few people who do the same.

Whathappensnowthen Fri 06-Oct-17 23:54:00

Perhaps I do sound stalkerish.

The last chap I got to know online openly shared Facebook photos of memes etc. We became close, but it was only after looking him up on Facebook that I discovered he was married (holiday snaps etc). I was pretty upset and don't want to find myself in the same position again.

Yes I have met this new chap. He is absolutely gorgeous and seems lovely, and we got on, ahem, very well.

I guess I'm just worried there's a catch.

TokenGinger Fri 06-Oct-17 23:56:29

Jesus. Stalker issues confused

I’ve had my phone number for a long time. My aunt has too. My aunt got locked out of her old Facebook account. I imagine that’s still linked to her phone number. Her new account, however, after getting hacked on her old one, is locked down privately and not linked to her number. Nor is mine. Especially so people I don’t really know too well but have my number couldn’t find me!

It’s very possible he’s had the number a while and forgotten the password to an old account.

SilverdaleGlen Fri 06-Oct-17 23:56:32

It's always possible he's a numpty like me, has had that phone number forever. Set up a FB account. Never used it.

Forgot he set it up and set up another one. I'm pretty sure I have about five mumsnet log ins, two Facebook accounts and a couple of instagrams because it takes me a while to adopt new (now v old) social medias.

Stop being stalkery!

beesandknees Sat 07-Oct-17 00:07:33

Look it's ok to Snoop Facebook etc.

The stalkerish part is wondering whether to confront him, essentially, for daring to possibly have two phone numbers / an old number. Why would that even occur to you? I mean... Firstly it would make you look properly strange. Secondly, if he's up to no good, do you honestly think he's going to go "you're right, you've found me out" or something?

The purpose of snooping is to find information that might help protect you and that's fair. It's not meant to be used as a way to pop up with bizarre questions for someone you literally do not know.

The fact that he has a FB account under a different phone number than the one you have for him is not something I'd give a second thought to.

ferrier Sat 07-Oct-17 00:10:36

I'm with SilverdaleGlen.
Probably set up the first one then forgot the password or had issues with it.
Set up the second one and didn't bother to link the phone to it.

MissTMornings Sat 07-Oct-17 00:13:45

I have a separate FB account for OLD. No friends, no posts etc. I'm not married and I have nothing to hide but I don't want random from the net finding info on my child etc. I have been stalked in the past and I am super careful now.

I don't use pictures on OLD that can can be reverse image searched to find me and I also don't have either of my FB accounts linked to my phone number.

It's just sensible. If someone wants to know more about me then they will just have to get to know me the hard way. You know through conversation and spending time with me.

Anyone that actively sought out my personal FB where my kids are my friends etc would be instantly dumped. Maybe your date is like me?

Theycalledmethewildrose Sat 07-Oct-17 00:15:58

Everybody looks up people on FB Thats the whole point of it. I often look up past colleagues and old friends to see what they are up to. If I was on the dating scene I'd definitely look up anybody I was 'chatting' to online. Its human nature so please don't let anyone make you feel bad for it.

To me,, it sounds like this guy has two profiles. Ask him if he is on FB and see which one he gives you If he gives you the 'empty' one, then you are probably correct in your assumptions.

Whathappensnowthen Sat 07-Oct-17 00:17:28

Thanks everyone. That's why I posted, I needed a more measured response. A lot of what you have all said makes sense. I am just trying to protect myself I suppose, and letting a bit of paranoia get in the way. I won't say anything to him.

Cricrichan Sat 07-Oct-17 02:48:07

But he hasn't befriended you on his inactive account? You've just found it using that number, haven't you?

Quite a few people I know have two accounts for various reasons, all innocent.

I don't see the problem op.

blueberrypie0112 Sat 07-Oct-17 02:53:34

You don’t always have to have a phone number to sign up for facebook. At least my account don’t require it

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