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Giving up on someone

(3 Posts)
greenclouds Fri 06-Oct-17 22:26:24

I need a hand hold please.

How long can you wait for someone to change?
You can't can you.
Doesn't make walking away easier.
Sometimes feel like it's as well to soldier on, not really enjoying life, moments yes..
As it is easier than dealing with the fallout.
Neither is any sustainable way to live.
Or is being happy some of the time enough?

Remember reading a little story about once the tent pole collapses the one tent is fucked. (I am the tent pole)

Appreciate I am rambling I just don't want to bother anyone in real life & need to vent a bit.

Not sure if it's the end,
This time.

Someone always crumbles & we just fall back into the same routine until someone blows again.

I know moving forward is best & every time I go back it's just dragging it out.

Doesn't make it easy.

Saying that, living in Groundhog Day isn't particularly easy either.

Mumanddadtoone Fri 06-Oct-17 23:08:40

Hi greenclouds, how do you want him to change?
Walking away is extremely difficult but you can only start moving forward when you let go of the past. You get one life, if he often makes you unhappy, you will regret not going earlier, in a couple of years (maybe even sooner), you could meet someone who truly makes you happy or you can stay where you are now and let time tick by. I do speak from experience unfortunately, I was with ex for 20 years and kept waiting and waiting for him to change (not really even change I suppose, just grow up), it never happened and my twenties and thirties were taken up by him. I don't know how old you are but please don't make my mistake, if you're not happy, why do you stay? Maybe try thinking of the real reasons why you don't want to leave, are you scared of being alone for example?

jeaux90 Fri 06-Oct-17 23:43:27

Greenclouds people don't change. They can adapt their behaviour through therapy or CBT but this means they have to acknowledge the issue and want to do something about it. It's rare. I had to walk away for my and my kid's sake.

Best decision of my life. Being a single parent is way easier than being in a shit relationship. I'm happy.

Please do not think you should sacrifice your life at the alter of marriage. Sticking together no matter what is a ridiculous notion.

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