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Why is the old, nasty stuff just turning up at this moment?

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lolaflores Fri 06-Oct-17 19:00:27

The last 4 days the memory of a very, very unpleasant, violent man has erupted out of nowhere.
I am begining to see his face in people on the telly...Jason Issacs anyone? He doesn't even look like him really but his face keeps getting superimposed over not just Jason issacs but a few other faces.
I haven't seen this man in YEARS..like 15 or something.
It was a relationship of perhaps 18th months but managed to pack in the nearly the full spectrum of violence, alcoholism, utter terror, overdoses and the police oh and a visit from social services. I called time on things when he sat on my chest and tried to strangle me.
Once things were finished and I had moved elsewhere, he indulged in a bit of stalking and some phone calls.
But he must have got bored or hooked up with someone else and it all stopped.f
Why the frig has this all come back?
For a bit of additional info..I have chagned my HRT treatment and am not sure if it is working as well as it could. Is it possible the two are linked otherwise I am thiniing this is a fucking break down of sorts.
Can't tell my husband as it doesn't seem appropriate but i am walking round like a bag of tetchy rats and can't verbalise it.
I am bipolar but sometimes it is so hard to work out what the fuck is going on.
Any input gratefully accepted.

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pudding21 Fri 06-Oct-17 19:30:59

Have you got a community mental health nurse? I think you should speak to the mental health services asap. Did you have counselling at the time? If you have changed your HRT also I would go back to your GP as a matter of urgency.

Does your husband know about the past? if he does, please tell him.

Please contact someone.

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NoToast Sat 07-Oct-17 10:07:09

There could be all sorts of reasons why this is coming up. It could be symptoms of PTSD which can surface years and years after events or it could be HRT or something else.

If you had a friend or family in this situation, I think you'd advise them to take care of themselves and get some support and I think you need to do that for yourself, not try and struggle on.

I hope you feel better soon and hope you can talk to your husband. You went through a horrific ordeal and I'm so glad you got away. flowers

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