I have a few brothers. There are two living abroad in Australia. There is one younger brother living at home with our mother. He's now in his mid 20s. I also live at home.
Me and my brother at home used to get on well but not so much any more and I don't know where things have gone wrong. He hardly speaks any more.
I first noticed something back around about January or February of this year. He was a bit cold. There was zero conversation from him. I put it down to perhaps work stress. Perhaps tired from work or whatever.
Like I would try and make conversation like:
How was your day in work?
How was your night out (if he was out the night before)
Did J or G phone you lately? (J and G being the first initials of our brothers).
I would hardly get a reply from him. One word grunts at most, I would get from him.
He started dating earlier this year. He started taking the girlfriend home back in March. He didn't even ask our mothers permission. He came in hungover one Saturday evening, the girlfriend following him and in his room they stayed until Sunday night. I was hardly introduced to the woman. I was only introduced because I happened to rise very early one Saturday morning and we happened to meet in the kitchen.
Later that day, in the evening time, I asked you brother - hows M? Is she gone home? (M being the first initial of the girlfriends name). I got much and the same kind of a response from my brother - I got a one work grunt before he fled back to his bedroom.
Not only all that, there's been many opportunities for my brother to speak to me. Like, my boyfriend likes to take me out at times like going for a spin and visit on Sundays. We went for a break away back in August. My boyfriend took me for a weekend away for my birthday too. My brother could have spoken to me at any time and asked me anything like:
How was your day at ___ (insert tourist attraction/activity)
How was your break away? Did you enjoy yourself?
How was dinner? Where did you go for dinner?
However there is absolutely nothing from my brother in the form of conversations. He's not talking to me. At times there might be a 'hello' but that's it, there is no conversation from him. I have a hobby I like to work on regularly and he could even ask about that.
He's the same with our mother but he's even worse with her. The only time he speaks to our mother is when he's giving out to her and criticising her. He's being overly critical too and it's completely needless. Its like he's only happy when he's dishing out dirt.
I think, all this has gone on too long for work to be a reason. I work long and hard myself but I still speak to our mother and I'm not dishing out dirt to her.
It feels to me that he's so wrapped up in his girlfriend that family doesn't exist anymore to him. I could be wrong maybe there's other reasons he's being like this. I don't know.
I can't think of any row that we had for him to not speak to me.
Has anyone experience in similar. A sibling withdrawing from family.
I understand people grow up and meet partners and grow apart and all that. I have two brothers in Australia. One is settled with a partner and child and we are in touch a few times a year. Even though we don't hear from each other often, I know what is between us is solid. As for my brother at home - to grow apart into nothing where he hardly speaks except for a grunt. I'm not able to understand that.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
My brother doesn't speak to me
SMJYellow · 06/10/2017 17:36
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.