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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

DP wants to be in an open relationship

72 replies

sasspot69 · 04/10/2017 22:42

I’ve been with my DP for 6 years, never had any problems but recently he says he’s getting a bit bored and losing interest but doesn’t want to leave me and keeps suggesting the idea of polygamy. What would you do?
Thanks

OP posts:

Report

inlectorecumbit · 04/10/2017 22:44

show him the door unless you are up for an open relationship too.

If he is that bored and you don't agree l think he will still look elsewhere and hide it.

Do you have DC's?

PinkHeart5914 · 04/10/2017 22:45

For me personally if my dh wants to shag someone else, we divorce first. I’m not sitting home like an idiot while he’s out fucking whoever.

How do you feel?
Could you cope with the idea of him shagging someone else?

sooperdooper · 04/10/2017 22:47

If it was me I'd tell him to jog on & do what he likes but I wouldn't be in a relationship with him anymore

Do you have dc? Live together? Plan to ever get married?

LineysRun · 04/10/2017 22:49

I'd tell him to fuck off.

Maybe a sad face in the tabloids to drum some interest?

Blahblahboo · 04/10/2017 22:52

Now it would depend on if he decided to bring a second sexy man into the relationship for some kinky threesomes. The fun that could be had lol.
But seriously I would probably tell him to leave because he'd only do it in secret otherwise, of course you do have the option of spicing things up a little or therapy

jdjejsn · 04/10/2017 22:53

I don’t want it but I don’t want to tell him outright no and him start cheating but don’t want to leave him over it if perhaps he was joking?

rainbowduck · 04/10/2017 22:54

Doesn't float my boat but works for a couple I know.

I do think if you both aren't into it 100%, then it probably won't work though.

You know your limits...

Smurfy23 · 04/10/2017 22:55

Wish him luck and send him on his merry way

BandHag · 04/10/2017 22:55

Would that make you feel loved and valued? It'd erode my self-worth in to the gutter.

I'd tell him that he's free to sleep with two or more people! But one of them won't be you.

CabbageSoupy · 04/10/2017 22:55

He's basically asking you if he can have his cake and eat it too.

Unless this is a mutually agreed thing then no. And how horrid for him to say he's bored.

Smeaton · 04/10/2017 22:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 04/10/2017 22:58

If he's bored, why wouldn't he want to leave you?

Nazdarovye · 04/10/2017 22:58

If he is getting bored and losing interest he can fuck right off.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 04/10/2017 22:59

What I mean is, what's in it for him if he stays with you? If he's bored then that suggests he's not feeling joy being with you. So why doesn't he just end it? Any ideas? Do you do all the housework or pay all the bills or something like that?

JustHereForThePooStories · 04/10/2017 23:03

A tenner says he's already screwing someone else, and is now looking for a way to legitimise it.

OliviaStabler · 04/10/2017 23:04

I'd show him the door and made sure he used it!

Aquamarine1029 · 04/10/2017 23:05

Basically, what he's telling you is that he wants your permission to cheat, and even if you don't give permission, he's going to cheat anyway.

Send Mr. HotPants on his merry little way. You can do a lot better.

PickAChew · 04/10/2017 23:06

If you're not up for it, tell him to sod off and relieve his boredom, but you won't be accompanying the twathim in his quest to relieve his boredom.

4173bg · 04/10/2017 23:06

Based on the limited information you have given I would show him the door.

And that is from someone who is in a happy and functional open relationship.

CoffeeAndEnnui · 04/10/2017 23:06

Tell him you're just popping out to fuck someone else and see how keen he is then on his cunning plan.

titchy · 04/10/2017 23:08

Tell him you're already in one

Smeaton · 04/10/2017 23:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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SilverySurfer · 04/10/2017 23:09

I agree - I would tell him to get lost. I have too much self respect to allow a man do that to me. You don't want to tell him no? Why not!? A joke? I don't hear anyone laughing OP.

I appreciate this might work for some couples who are in agreement. That's not the case here is it? He just want to go on a shagging fest.

I'm sorry but he has zero respect for you and it really doesn't sound as though you are the love of his life. I would dump his bored arse fast.

expatinscotland · 04/10/2017 23:11

He wants to shag other people and keep you at home.

ilovelamp82 · 04/10/2017 23:11

Tell him a guy at work has been asking you out for ages and you're happy he's thought of a solution cos you've wanted to say yes.

See how he responds.

Personally I could never feel the same way about the relationship after he'd said that so I'd leave.

Do you think he may have already cheated and is trying to legitamise it?

Why would you want to stay with someone that is bored of you and lost interest?

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