Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

DP wants to be in an open relationship

(73 Posts)
sasspot69 Wed 04-Oct-17 22:42:04

I’ve been with my DP for 6 years, never had any problems but recently he says he’s getting a bit bored and losing interest but doesn’t want to leave me and keeps suggesting the idea of polygamy. What would you do?

inlectorecumbit Wed 04-Oct-17 22:44:48

show him the door unless you are up for an open relationship too.

If he is that bored and you don't agree l think he will still look elsewhere and hide it.

Do you have DC's?

PinkHeart5914 Wed 04-Oct-17 22:45:37

For me personally if my dh wants to shag someone else, we divorce first. I’m not sitting home like an idiot while he’s out fucking whoever.

How do you feel?
Could you cope with the idea of him shagging someone else?

sooperdooper Wed 04-Oct-17 22:47:42

If it was me I'd tell him to jog on & do what he likes but I wouldn't be in a relationship with him anymore

Do you have dc? Live together? Plan to ever get married?

LineysRun Wed 04-Oct-17 22:49:30

I'd tell him to fuck off.

Maybe a sad face in the tabloids to drum some interest?

Blahblahboo Wed 04-Oct-17 22:52:02

Now it would depend on if he decided to bring a second sexy man into the relationship for some kinky threesomes. The fun that could be had lol.
But seriously I would probably tell him to leave because he'd only do it in secret otherwise, of course you do have the option of spicing things up a little or therapy

jdjejsn Wed 04-Oct-17 22:53:11

I don’t want it but I don’t want to tell him outright no and him start cheating but don’t want to leave him over it if perhaps he was joking?

rainbowduck Wed 04-Oct-17 22:54:35

Doesn't float my boat but works for a couple I know.

I do think if you both aren't into it 100%, then it probably won't work though.

You know your limits...

Smurfy23 Wed 04-Oct-17 22:55:05

Wish him luck and send him on his merry way

BandHag Wed 04-Oct-17 22:55:30

Would that make you feel loved and valued? It'd erode my self-worth in to the gutter.

I'd tell him that he's free to sleep with two or more people! But one of them won't be you.

CabbageSoupy Wed 04-Oct-17 22:55:53

He's basically asking you if he can have his cake and eat it too.

Unless this is a mutually agreed thing then no. And how horrid for him to say he's bored.

Smeaton Wed 04-Oct-17 22:57:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 04-Oct-17 22:58:15

If he's bored, why wouldn't he want to leave you?

Nazdarovye Wed 04-Oct-17 22:58:44

If he is getting bored and losing interest he can fuck right off.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 04-Oct-17 22:59:52

What I mean is, what's in it for him if he stays with you? If he's bored then that suggests he's not feeling joy being with you. So why doesn't he just end it? Any ideas? Do you do all the housework or pay all the bills or something like that?

JustHereForThePooStories Wed 04-Oct-17 23:03:22

A tenner says he's already screwing someone else, and is now looking for a way to legitimise it.

OliviaStabler Wed 04-Oct-17 23:04:48

I'd show him the door and made sure he used it!

Aquamarine1029 Wed 04-Oct-17 23:05:38

Basically, what he's telling you is that he wants your permission to cheat, and even if you don't give permission, he's going to cheat anyway.

Send Mr. HotPants on his merry little way. You can do a lot better.

PickAChew Wed 04-Oct-17 23:06:15

If you're not up for it, tell him to sod off and relieve his boredom, but you won't be accompanying --the twat--him in his quest to relieve his boredom.

4173bg Wed 04-Oct-17 23:06:52

Based on the limited information you have given I would show him the door.

And that is from someone who is in a happy and functional open relationship.

CoffeeAndEnnui Wed 04-Oct-17 23:06:53

Tell him you're just popping out to fuck someone else and see how keen he is then on his cunning plan.

titchy Wed 04-Oct-17 23:08:24

Tell him you're already in one wink

Smeaton Wed 04-Oct-17 23:09:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverySurfer Wed 04-Oct-17 23:09:56

I agree - I would tell him to get lost. I have too much self respect to allow a man do that to me. You don't want to tell him no? Why not!? A joke? I don't hear anyone laughing OP.

I appreciate this might work for some couples who are in agreement. That's not the case here is it? He just want to go on a shagging fest.

I'm sorry but he has zero respect for you and it really doesn't sound as though you are the love of his life. I would dump his bored arse fast.

expatinscotland Wed 04-Oct-17 23:11:17

He wants to shag other people and keep you at home.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: