I’ve been friends with A for about 3 years, met at a playgroup for our DS’s who were both 2 at the time. We quickly became good friends, and our DH’s got on too so we did holidays, nights out, takeaway nights, Sunday lunches etc together.
A has lots of other friends however (but not as close as I was in terms of spending time together as a 4) that she would see for days out with their kids and play dates etc and I only have one other friend really so sometimes I felt a bit resentful if she was out with her other friends and she never invited me to be part of that.
Anyway cut to half term in February I never heard from her and saw on Facebook she’d done activities each day with her other friends and their children, I was upset but never said anything. Then come the Easter holidays same again, she was busy every day doing days out with her other friends and I didn’t see her for the full two weeks. (Normally we would do days out/playdates for our DS’s in every holiday). I was pissed off after this and I stopped messaging her and she never messaged me either however would still ‘like’ my photos on FB etc. Then the nail in the coffin was she posted a photo of her DS at a football class that we had originally taken our DS’s together, and decided not go back when they didn’t show much interest in it. When I saw she’d taken him back without even asking if we wanted to give it another try I was upset and angry and I removed her off Facebook as I took it as a hint that she was done with me. I left it a few days and didn’t hear from her and then when I checked she had actually blocked me on Facebook.
I have left it weeks now but I do miss her, she was a good friend and we had been there for each other through some hard times, so despite my better judgement I bit the bullet and wrote to her, just a short note saying I was sorry for removing her off FB, I missed her, my DS misses her DS and I’d love to chat and sort things out. She would have received the letter on Monday, I still haven’t heard from her.
WWYD? My DH is telling me to leave it, she obviously doesn’t want to sort things out but I want to go round to her house and face her and ask her why things ended up like this.
Thank you if you’re still with me, that was very long!
I also realise how sad and desperate I sound once it’s all written down but I just feel so sad about losing someone who was such a good friend. Thanks for any advice!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Sad about lost friendship
ShuttyTown · 04/10/2017 19:07
You sound justifiably hurt and mystified, not obsessive 
You'll probably never know the reasons for this so you have to just put it behind you and move on.
Some people are less loyal than others and friendships have a shelf life for them. Are your DCs at different schools? It may be that she'd rather spend time with people from the same school, who are less effort to catch up with?
It's probably nothing you've done, just that you were a toddler mum friend and that era is over.
Thanks everyone, I think @Angelf1sh hit the nail on the head.
I just want to clarify, I do have other friends who I do play dates etc with (the one I mentioned in my OP I meant is my other ‘best friend’) I go to playgroups and do soft play and play dates etc with other people, even more now I have a 10 month old and I’ve met some more people at playgroup. I also did ask her to do to stuff in the holidays, I didn’t just sit around waiting for her to message me, she was just busy with other friends every day which is fine in itself but is totally out of character for her as we normally spent so much time together, especially in school holidays as our DS’s were so close.
Anyway, I’ve taken all the advice on board, MN has given me the slap in the face I needed to pick myself up and move on!
Thank you to those who were kind 
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.