endometriosis affects my life

[1988alexandra]

hello everybody,

i have been diagnostic with endometriosis on my left ovary 6 months ago. doctor said that i need to have a baby now because after i will make the surgery and he wants to have a baby before the surgery in case i cannot do anymore after. the problem is that my husband doesn't want one yet. we talked about children before marriage, he wanted, now he said that the relationship is not stable after we had some arguments and that's why he doesn't want to have one now. i know maybe you can judge me, but i really want children and i cannot imagine my life without children. i don't know what to do anymore, i am so upset, and i resent my husband for letting me alone in this issue. i cannot talk anymore about children with him because he clearly said that he doesn't want now.. what should i do?

thanks

[MatildaTheCat]

If your relationship is unstable your husband has a valid point in delaying having a baby. I do understand your need to go ahead anyway.

It sounds as if English isn't your first language, are you certain the doctor said exactly that? Obviously endometriosis ( which is a horrid condition) can cause infertility issues on its own. I guess the other options are to ask about egg freezing or simply delaying the surgery for a while and working on improving your marriage.

Good luck.

[BadHatter]

You can always divorce and go with a sperm donor if your need to have children is greater than your need to be married.

[1988alexandra]

yes, 3 doctors already told me the same. to make a baby because they aren't sure that after the surgery it will be possible

[NotTheFordType]

What medical problems is the endometriosis currently causing you? Is it causing sufficient pain/suffering to want the surgery soon? Has the doctor said that the condition might worsen, or develop in the other ovary as well?

If you are currently suffering and it's affecting your day to day life then I would look at getting your eggs frozen but have the surgery as soon as possible.

[1988alexandra]

when i am on my period, i do have so much pain to handle. i don't want to wait until it's causing sufficient pain every day because maybe then will not be possible to save my ovary.

i will check with my doc what should i do to get my eggs frozen

thanks

[Isetan]

Given the seriousness of your condition and the time constraints, it’s safe to say that having a child with you isn’t his priority. You need to speak to your doctors again to explore your options because unless you’re prepared to go down the sperm donor route immediately, there’s a chance that you may never get pregnant (which is not the same as having a baby because pregnancy is not the only path to motherhood).

Good luck